Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

For help others, few things are more crucial than rich. Nowadays, many would argue that the contemporary society has nearly transcended its traditional boundaries and will soon become boundless in its pursuit of rich for the benefits of helping others. Nevertheless, I firmly believe that helping others should be done by richness.

Naturally, rich in the development is considered more essential for help others, creating inexhaustible for pool people that are not available from other sources. Moreover, it demonstrates unparalleled benefits for weak people, permeating and enhancing every conceivable sector of society.

Since poor people seek development and fulfillment through rich life, ample investment one them by wealthy people is imperative to elevate modern living standards. If this is adopted by governments and individuals alike, many hopeless people stand to benefit significantly. Well developed financial in nations such as China and Japan, for instance, has emerged as a pivotal model for helping poors, delivering enhanced services for their people.

Under certain circumstances, poor people may shy away from rich people due to a range of challanges, such as mental and physical health crises, financial constraints, adverse environmental conditions, technological barriers, resource limitations, fear of failure and lack of support. While rich is widely embraced in major cities worldwide, helpless people in impoverished and developing nations frequently contend with profound financial limitations and deteriorating conditions when striving to implement this approach. Therefore, the notion of rich is not always appealing.

From economic, social and national perspectives, if the goals of poor people dictate that rich is not merely an option but an imperative, they may choose to embrace it.

However, it is the responsibility of poor people to evaluate the role of rich people and determine whether it will do more harm than good. Thus, it is evident that fostering an interesting in rich is beneficial.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt but struggles with clarity and focus. While you take a position, the arguments are often obscured by imprecise language, such as using 'rich' as a noun (e.g., 'the pursuit of rich'). The ideas regarding the role of wealth in helping others are present but lack logical development and specific, relevant examples. The connection between the abstract concept of 'rich' and the practical act of helping others remains underdeveloped, making it difficult for the reader to follow your line of reasoning. To improve, ensure that your main ideas are clearly stated and supported by concrete, logical explanations rather than repetitive or vague assertions.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the progression of ideas is often disjointed. While you use some cohesive devices like 'Moreover' and 'Therefore', they are sometimes used mechanically or inappropriately due to the underlying confusion in the sentences. The referencing is frequently unclear; for example, it is often difficult to determine what 'this' or 'it' refers to in your sentences. The logical flow is hindered by the lack of clear topic sentences and the repetitive nature of the arguments. Improving the transition between sentences and ensuring that each paragraph has a singular, clear focus would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and frequently inaccurate. You consistently use the adjective 'rich' as a noun (e.g., 'the notion of rich', 'fostering an interesting in rich'), which is a significant error in word choice and collocation. There is also a lack of variety in your word choice, leading to repetition of the same terms. While you attempt to use some academic-sounding phrases, they are often used incorrectly, which impedes communication. To reach a higher band, you need to focus on using words in their correct grammatical form and expanding your range of vocabulary to express complex ideas with precision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that often cause difficulty for the reader. There are persistent issues with word class (using adjectives as nouns), sentence structure, and article usage (e.g., 'For help others', 'ample investment one them'). While you attempt some complex sentence structures, they are often faulty, leading to confusion. The frequency of these errors is high, and they occur throughout the text, which prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic sentence construction and ensuring subject-verb agreement and correct word forms will help improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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