Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 4.0)

some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others however i discord with this view point because personal financial security and self needs .

one of major reason for disapproval of this view point is the self private financial security . this is due to the fact that masses which was wealthy that was earn for fulfill their rams and for their family but some peoples are helps to others but no everyone like sometime give to helpers only 1,2% of the salary for instance a study conducted by finance department has approved due to its positive outcomes for people and society therefore

secure one's own future .

another worth considering reason for my disagreement is socio economic to elaborate some masses have want being a socio economic works and that pupils take that money their so this is a reason of my disapproval if that person socio economic life is boost up in society it can benefit people in economic status .

to conclude it is clear from the above mentioned points that the idea of being rich is that one is opportunity to help others seems practical and bring prosoerity for the society and people therefore it would be wise to accept this idea and promote it.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, which significantly impacts the development of ideas. While you attempt to state a position, the arguments are underdeveloped and often unclear. For example, your explanation of 'socio-economic' reasons is fragmented and lacks logical progression. Furthermore, the conclusion contradicts your initial stance by suggesting the idea should be accepted, which makes your position inconsistent. To improve, ensure you fully expand on each point with clear examples and maintain a consistent argument throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The essay lacks a logical flow. While there is an attempt at paragraphing, the transitions between ideas are mechanical and often confusing, such as the abrupt shift in the second paragraph. The use of cohesive devices is limited and frequently misused, making it difficult for the reader to follow your train of thought. For instance, the phrase 'therefore' is used without a clear logical connection to the preceding clause. To improve, focus on using linking words more accurately and ensuring each paragraph has a clear, singular focus that supports your main argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The vocabulary is limited and often inaccurate, which hinders communication. You rely on basic terms and struggle with word choice and collocation, such as 'self private financial security' and 'rams' (likely meant 'aims'). There are also frequent spelling errors, such as 'prosoerity' and 'discord' (used instead of 'disagree'). The range of vocabulary is insufficient to express complex ideas effectively. To improve, focus on learning common collocations and expanding your range of academic vocabulary, while also paying closer attention to spelling and word forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that often impede meaning. There are issues with subject-verb agreement ('masses which was wealthy'), sentence structure (many sentences are fragments or run-on sentences), and article usage. The lack of punctuation also makes the text difficult to parse. You rely almost exclusively on simple sentence structures, and attempts at more complex sentences are consistently faulty. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring every sentence has a clear subject and verb, and proofreading for common errors like verb tense consistency and pluralization.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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