Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In this particular statement, i disagree with the lines . Because i feel in the competitive world no one is stand for you for your success. All are busy in their own career growth. No one is think for society.

To begin with, in my view of point most time rich people only think how to success more and more. They don't think for others. Other hand they think how to income a good amount, how to jump the desire goal. So that i don't think, they can imagine about others people opportunity and career . To being rich , they always think to cross peoples aim , to build new idea, no doubt they are very hardworking but somehow they are not helpful. If the rich citizens are helping others , then i believe in our country no one is unemployed. But it works just opposite. Those who are successful they can't think others and those who are not they are hopping for the opportunity every time. Most of time the officers are take the opportunity for their own family members and friends. So, those who have not that much of connections they may suffer .

Secondly, We discuss about rich people how behaves. Some citizens are their for poor people and they help them , because they know the root when they were also one day with the same situation , so they only truly help others. They are also kind, gentle and honest for citizens like our president , she know about the poor life. so she develops some machines , build the road and other things. While others, those think we are the leader and we can do anything they are not helping to others. They just follow how to save the black money more and more rather than not thinking about how to save life. Some opportunity are their but the head is not support others so people are not capable to rich. To be honest, in my country 95 percent people and leaders only think about their own personal life. So that , they are always act like rich and powerful. And others behaves them like their servant.

In conclusion, i suggest if government being loyal for their peoples then all leaders may change their mindset. Because , most of the government employees are not honest of their work . So, rich are being rich and poor are being poor. They are wait for opportunity but rich people are not helping them.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position against the idea that the most important aspect of being rich is helping others. However, the development of ideas is somewhat repetitive and relies on generalizations about 'rich people' and 'leaders' rather than providing nuanced arguments. The essay focuses heavily on corruption and personal greed, which only partially explores the prompt's premise. While the position is consistent, the supporting arguments lack depth and specific examples, often veering into social commentary rather than directly answering the 'to what extent' aspect of the prompt. The ideas are relevant but could be more effectively structured to demonstrate a balanced perspective.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical progression between ideas is often disjointed. While transition words like 'To begin with' and 'Secondly' are used, they are sometimes applied mechanically or incorrectly. The referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the second paragraph where the transition from discussing 'rich people' to 'our president' feels abrupt. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes inaccurate, which affects the flow of the argument. Paragraphing is present, but the internal structure of the paragraphs lacks a clear topic sentence followed by supporting evidence, making the overall argument feel somewhat fragmented.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and often repetitive, relying on basic terms like 'rich', 'people', 'help', and 'opportunity'. There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'how to income a good amount' instead of 'how to earn a good income' and 'the head is not support others' instead of 'the leadership does not support others'. The student attempts to use more complex vocabulary, but these attempts often result in unnatural phrasing. To reach a higher band, the student needs to focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and improving their understanding of collocations and word forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a high frequency of grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'no one is think', 'officers are take'), article usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are simple or contain run-on structures that lack proper punctuation. While there is an attempt to use complex sentences, these are frequently faulty, leading to confusion. The lack of control over basic grammar, such as verb tenses and pluralization, is a significant barrier to achieving a higher score. More attention to proofreading and mastering basic sentence construction is essential.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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