Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-20
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In current, many high status background people are helping the poor people with monetary funds in various ways possible. Some believe that the most crucial thing about being rich is that one has opportunity to help others. I firmly agree with this notion, being financially successful can help to imrpove life other needy people in the society.
One of the significant reason is that rich people can invest their some spending in funds to children care. elderly home care or other suffering people. Instead of spending money in unnecessary items during shopping one can help to buy food and clothes for elderly people and for orphanage children or for other needy people. It will imrpove your image status in the society as well. For example, Ambani, the richest person of India, has provided homes suppliers to recent flood sufferred families in Sikkim. This examplifies that being rich is the one of the most effective way to help others.
Another reason is that rich people can invest their fundings in establishing companies and industries which provide job opportunities to many young skilled individuals in the world. While establishing a company it offers job employment to hundreds of people. Although its business but it certainly does help in decreasing the rate of unemployment in a country. For instance, Binod Chaudhary, the founder of waiwai company and billionaire of Nepal, established another waiwai factory in Terai region of Nepal and it was found more than 10% of unemployment problems in Terai were solved.
In conclusion, having high profile background is the best possible way to help others in the society, which certainly improve the life of many peoples. I reckon that rich people should invest funds in good way to improve the life of other needy.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses the prompt clearly and maintains a consistent position throughout. You have provided two main supporting arguments: charitable giving and job creation, both of which are relevant to the topic. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the example of the billionaire in Nepal is a good attempt at support, but the explanation of how wealth specifically facilitates this could be more nuanced. To reach a higher band, ensure that your supporting points are fully explored rather than just stated. The conclusion effectively restates your position, though it introduces a slightly repetitive tone. Overall, you have fulfilled the requirements of the task well.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a central theme. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'One of the significant reason is', 'Another reason is', and 'In conclusion' to guide the reader. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and there are minor issues with referencing and cohesion, such as the slightly awkward transition 'Although its business but it certainly does help'. The use of cohesive devices is adequate but lacks the flexibility and sophistication required for a higher band. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between ideas would enhance the overall coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'monetary funds', 'unemployment', and 'high status background'. However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and collocation errors, such as 'high status background people', 'invest their some spending', and 'homes suppliers'. Additionally, there are spelling errors like 'imrpove' and 'examplifies'. While these errors do not impede communication, they indicate a need for more precise vocabulary usage and better attention to spelling. To improve, focus on learning collocations and using more academic synonyms for common words.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, they often contain grammatical inaccuracies, such as 'In current, many high status background people' (should be 'Currently') and 'it was found more than 10% of unemployment problems' (should be 'it was found that more than 10% of...'). There are also frequent errors in article usage and pluralization, such as 'the life of many peoples'. Despite these errors, the meaning remains clear throughout. To achieve a higher score, you should focus on improving your control over complex sentence structures and reducing basic grammatical slips.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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