Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-20
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Student answer (Band 5.5)
It is often argued that the most benefits of being rich is that they can help others people by providing them variety of opportunities in every sector of life. I completely agree with this statement and also believe that they not only assist others but also create happiness for them.
To begin with, there are many reasons why helping others is the most important aspect of life of wealthy individuals. Firstly, rich people help others in many ways. For example, they provide jobs opportunities, invest in technology and health sectors. Which provides jobs to needy workers and due to this they can fulfill their basics needs. As a result, wealthy citizens help to reduce burden from government. Secondly, they also do charity work by donating clothes to poor people in society and also build houses and provide them free medication during emergencies.
Furthermore, by providing opportunities to others rich people feel more blessed and feel sense of satisfaction in life, they live more happy life and stay healthy in their all life. They believe that it is responsibility given to them by god to take care of poor individuals and give them what they want in their life .This is why, most important things for rich people to help others by giving them benefits and opportunities in their country.
In conclusion, i completely agree with this statement that the most crucial thing about rich is that one has the opportunities to needy people and this will make them happy also good for overall nation development.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt by expressing a clear position in favor of the idea that helping others is the most important aspect of wealth. The ideas are relevant, such as job creation and charity, but they are somewhat repetitive and lack depth. For instance, the argument that wealthy people feel 'blessed' is a subjective point that could have been better supported with more analytical reasoning regarding the societal impact of philanthropy. While the position is consistent, the development of ideas remains at a surface level, preventing a higher score. To improve, ensure that each body paragraph explores the implications of the points raised rather than simply listing them.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. Cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'Furthermore' are used to link sentences and paragraphs. However, some transitions feel mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the sentence 'Which provides jobs to needy workers', where the relative pronoun lacks a clear antecedent. The conclusion is a bit repetitive, restating the introduction without adding a final synthesizing thought. Improving the variety of cohesive devices and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would enhance the flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to convey their meaning clearly. There are attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'charity work', 'medication', and 'nation development'. However, the range is limited, and there are some awkward collocations and word choice errors, such as 'the most benefits' instead of 'the main benefit' and 'in their all life' instead of 'throughout their lives'. The vocabulary is sufficient to communicate the main points, but it lacks the precision and flexibility required for a higher band score. Expanding your range of synonyms and collocations will help.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('the most benefits... is'), missing articles ('in every sector of life'), and punctuation errors (e.g., starting a sentence with 'Which'). The sentence structure is often repetitive, relying on basic patterns. To reach a higher band, you should focus on reducing these recurring errors and increasing the variety of complex structures, such as using conditional sentences or more sophisticated relative clauses, while ensuring they are punctuated correctly.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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