Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others...It is not like that..it is not the most important thing..Yes in some extent it is important being rich to help others..Because if we Don't have enough money than we can't help others..But it is not the most important thing..if we want to help others than we can do that with our limited money...it is all about the mentality..if a person has the mentality to help others than he/ she can do that with their limited income..on the other hand ,in our society their also a type of rich people whose has lot of money but they don't help others..Helping others is a noble work and this type of noble thing don't need money..being rich is not only the main thing ,it is preliminary thing..if someone is financially stable than he can help others by providing food,clothes, free education etc..in our country most of the people suffer from food and shelter...so by being rich ,one can mitigate the needy people's suffering..

Lastly I want to conclude that,for helping others it's not mandatory being rich but it's a important thing to help others...

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, which significantly impacts the development of ideas. While you address the prompt by stating your position—that being rich is not the most important factor in helping others—the argument is underdeveloped and repetitive. You touch upon the idea of 'mentality' versus financial status, but the points lack depth and specific examples. To improve, you must expand your arguments with detailed explanations and examples to reach the required length and provide a more comprehensive discussion of the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay lacks a clear structure. It is written as a single, dense paragraph, which makes it difficult to follow the progression of ideas. There is a lack of formal cohesive devices; you rely heavily on simple conjunctions like 'but' and 'if'. To improve, you should organize your response into clear paragraphs: an introduction, body paragraphs with distinct main ideas, and a conclusion. Using a wider range of linking words such as 'furthermore', 'consequently', or 'on the other hand' would help guide the reader through your argument more effectively.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is quite basic and repetitive. Phrases like 'helping others' and 'being rich' are used frequently without variation. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'noble work' (better: 'noble act' or 'altruistic endeavor') and 'preliminary thing' (which does not accurately convey your intended meaning). To reach a higher band, you should aim to incorporate more precise, academic vocabulary and avoid informal punctuation like ellipses (...), which are inappropriate for an IELTS essay.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The grammar is characterized by frequent errors in sentence structure, punctuation, and subject-verb agreement. For example, 'whose has lot of money' should be 'who have a lot of money', and 'it's a important thing' should be 'it is an important thing'. The essay consists mostly of simple sentences, with very few attempts at complex structures. Punctuation is also problematic, with excessive use of ellipses and inconsistent capitalization. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement will help improve your accuracy.

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