Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is stated that the significant thing about being wealthy is having the chance to support those in need. I strongly believe that it is a very positive approach to help those who are in distress and suffering. Rich people have this opportunity to fulfill the needs of disadvantaged families.

First of all, we all are human beings who have sentiments, empathy and compassion for others. Secondly, it is moral obligation to respect others and take care of their necessities if we are able to look after them. Therefore, wealthy people should use theit financial resources to assist others who are less fortunate. For examples, they can provide food, education and medical assistance to less privileged families. This can improve their quality of life and improve their living standards.

Furthermore, wealthy individuals can use the money to create employment opportunities for poor people instead of giving them donations. They can set up factories and through small business investment, they can build a lot of jobs. This can help people become financially independent and improve their living conditions in the long terms. Therefore, i believe that the ability to support others is the most valuable benefit of being rich and its leads a positive change and sense of equality in society.

In conclusion, I agree that being wealthy is a great way to help those who are in needs through donations and by creating jobs opportunities to make them financially stable. So, the wealth can play a vital role in improving both individuals life and whole society as well.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt directly and maintains a clear position throughout. You have successfully identified two main ways wealth can be used to help others: direct aid and job creation. The ideas are relevant and supported with examples, such as providing food and medical assistance. However, the development is somewhat basic. To reach a higher band, you could explore the nuance of the prompt—specifically the word 'most'—by briefly acknowledging whether other benefits of wealth (like personal freedom or influence) might be considered equally or more important, thereby providing a more balanced and sophisticated argument.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'First of all', 'Secondly', 'Furthermore', and 'In conclusion' to guide the reader. While the progression is clear, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive. To improve, try to vary your linking phrases and ensure that the transition between sentences is smoother. For instance, instead of starting every sentence with a connector, use relative clauses or participle phrases to link ideas more fluidly within the paragraphs.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'disadvantaged', 'financial resources', and 'financially independent'. There are some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'its leads a positive change' (should be 'it leads to') and 'in the long terms' (should be 'in the long term'). While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly, it lacks the sophistication and precision required for higher bands. Incorporating more precise academic collocations would enhance the quality of your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While your meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical slips, such as 'theit' (typo for 'their'), 'for examples' (should be 'for example'), and 'improving both individuals life' (should be 'individuals' lives'). Additionally, there are minor errors with articles and pluralization. The majority of your sentences are understandable, but the frequency of these small errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and plural forms will help improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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