Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

There is a school of thought, which marely works to earn a good living so that they can help needy by providing them whatever they need to live a happy life i.e., food, clothes, or setting them a good business. These people also believe that this is the most integral benefit of being wealthy. I am the one, who completely agree with this point of view due to numerous reasons.

First of all, researchers discovered that a person earns just not to get rich but to gain inner peace, which can easily be achieved through helping others. Furthermore Putting yourself in a great deal of effort just for someone, who you even do not know, i.e., buy some one new clothes, food or any item of daily use, which they can not afford, provides you that level of satisfaction, which you can not achieve by any other mean. Moreover helping poor also provides you a feeling of fulfillment and you really feel acomplished.

Once, me and some of my friends started a compaign with the name "Blanket Drive" in which firstly we collected donation from students community and then bought some blankets from market and at the end we targeted the homeless needy individuals, who used to sleep on the roadsides and distributed all the blankets to those poor souls, shivering in the cold night. This was not possible without having enough money in our pockets.

To conlcude, i would just say, being wealthy can be indispensable to help others and these kind of deeds have their own sentimenatal values, which can not be denied. As i have already mentioned that the end purpose of earning is to get inner peace, and getting that by helping poor, is the best way, one can take.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position and supporting it with relevant ideas. The argument is consistent throughout, and the inclusion of a personal anecdote serves to illustrate the point effectively. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited; while the link between wealth and inner peace is mentioned, it could be explored with more depth or nuance to reach a higher band. The introduction is slightly confusing due to grammatical issues, but the overall stance remains clear. To improve, ensure that the connection between the premise (wealth) and the conclusion (helping others) is more robustly argued with broader societal examples rather than relying solely on personal experience.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. Cohesive devices such as 'First of all', 'Furthermore', 'Moreover', and 'To conclude' are used to guide the reader through the argument. However, the flow is occasionally interrupted by awkward phrasing and mechanical transitions. For instance, the transition between the introduction and the first body paragraph is slightly abrupt. Referencing is generally clear, but the use of punctuation and sentence structure sometimes makes the progression of ideas feel a bit disjointed. Improving the variety of cohesive devices and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express their ideas clearly. There are attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as 'integral', 'indispensable', and 'sentimental values'. However, there are several instances of word-choice errors and spelling mistakes, such as 'marely' (merely), 'compaign' (campaign), and 'acomplished' (accomplished). These errors do not impede communication, but they do limit the precision of the writing. To improve, focus on mastering the spelling of common academic terms and refining collocations to ensure a more natural and sophisticated tone.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the writer attempts complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles, subject-verb agreement, and sentence fragments (e.g., 'There is a school of thought, which marely works...'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with some run-on sentences and misused commas. While these errors rarely prevent the reader from understanding the intended meaning, they are frequent enough to prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic grammatical accuracy and proofreading for sentence boundaries would significantly improve the quality of the writing.

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