Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 4.0)

Some people say that the most important things about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help other. The statement is completely true and i discussed in the below with example .

Some people say that the helps other is the great opportunities to being rich and i the statement is true some people help other and become rich because when the person help the other the the the other person blessing of the person god protect the other people and sand more money .

If the person is help other then god help this person in worried time .So, we want to help other god sand more then more food in your life . I seen many people to help other and they become very rich in small time and i like this types of person who help other and Allah give the ajjer for this blessing in this world and the last day. So, we should always the help other and the poor people.

I know the many people who help the other and become very rich in over city such as Bilal and Yasir who help the poor people and become rich in small time . All most many people like this types of people.

I agree in this statement many time i help the other people and poor people because my father adivce my that you always the help the poor and needed person so i help the peoples . And all my friend help me in this work.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response addresses the prompt by expressing agreement, but the development of ideas is limited and repetitive. The argument relies heavily on personal anecdotes and religious sentiment rather than exploring the broader socio-economic implications of wealth and philanthropy. The ideas are under-developed, and the essay lacks a balanced discussion or a sophisticated exploration of the 'extent' to which this is true. The position is clear, but the supporting points are simplistic and lack the depth required for a higher band score. To improve, you should focus on providing more analytical arguments regarding the responsibilities of the wealthy and the impact of charitable giving on society.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The essay is divided into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the progression of ideas is disjointed. There is a lack of cohesive devices to link sentences and paragraphs effectively; the writing feels like a series of isolated statements rather than a cohesive argument. Referencing is often unclear, and the repetition of phrases like 'help other' makes the flow mechanical and difficult to follow. To improve, you should use a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'furthermore', 'consequently', 'in contrast') to create a logical flow between your ideas and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The vocabulary is very limited and repetitive. Basic words such as 'help', 'rich', and 'people' are used throughout the text without variation. There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'god sand more then more food' and 'ajjer for this blessing'. These errors occasionally impede communication, making it difficult for the reader to grasp the intended meaning. To reach a higher band, you need to expand your vocabulary to include more precise, academic terms related to the topic of wealth, philanthropy, and social responsibility, and focus on using words in their correct context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The grammatical range is very limited, consisting mostly of simple sentences with frequent errors in subject-verb agreement, article usage, and tense consistency. Examples include 'the helps other is the great opportunities' and 'my father adivce my'. There are also significant issues with punctuation and sentence structure, which often make the text difficult to parse. The lack of complex sentence structures prevents the demonstration of higher-level grammatical control. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, subject-verb agreement, and the correct use of articles before attempting more complex structures.

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