Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-24
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Few individuals say that it is most beneficial for a rich man to help the needy, and that the thing is to provide opportunities that can help them financially. In this essay, I really agree with the view that the wealthy can help the poor in this way, enjoy life comfortably, and also provide a positive message to the world.
One reason is that the wealthy begin to help those who are less fortunate.
provide funds to charities, educational programs, and health care institutes. For instance, a wealthy man like Ronaldo can provide funds in both countries to help needy people. Furthermore, the wealthy man can provide opportunities for individuals who do not have any financial support through business. The wealthy can invest in the business not only for profit, but also to provide jobs. It can also help in the growth of the economy.
However, the wealthy can help others the most significantly; people with wealth can provide happiness when people enjoy their lives with comfortable lives. To provide better education to their children and health care through private institutions to save their lives. For example, the in some countries the wealthy man can give the wealth to other people and also give a vision to live better.
In conclusion, the point a rich man can help the needy with wealth is most beneficial, but to give the opportunity is a great way where people can improve their daily needs. The wealthy man man can change the world nowadays.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the role of wealth in helping others. However, the development of ideas is inconsistent. While you mention charities and business investment, the arguments are somewhat repetitive and lack depth. The second body paragraph is particularly unclear, as the connection between 'wealthy people enjoying their lives' and the prompt's focus on 'helping others' is not well-articulated. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that your examples directly support your central argument. The position is generally clear, but the supporting points need more logical expansion to reach a higher band.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the flow between ideas is often mechanical or disjointed. For instance, the transition between the first and second body paragraphs is abrupt. While you use some cohesive devices like 'Furthermore' and 'In conclusion', the internal logic within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow. The sentence structure often feels fragmented, which hinders the progression of your argument. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each sentence logically follows the previous one to create a smoother, more cohesive narrative.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety required for higher bands. You rely on basic terms like 'wealthy man' and 'help' repeatedly. There are also some awkward collocations, such as 'the thing is to provide opportunities' and 'give a vision to live better', which sound unnatural. To improve, try to incorporate more sophisticated synonyms and topic-specific vocabulary related to philanthropy, socio-economic impact, and humanitarian aid. Expanding your range of collocations will help you express your ideas with greater clarity and impact.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and some attempted complex structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Issues include missing articles ('in some countries the wealthy man'), subject-verb agreement errors ('the wealthy begin to help'), and awkward phrasing ('the point a rich man can help'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While these errors do not completely prevent the reader from understanding your message, they occur frequently enough to impact the overall fluency. Focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and article usage to improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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