Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Few part of crowd talk that the most valuable thing about being rich is that one has opportunity to help others who cannot afford basic requirements for living a life. I agree to large extent with this part of people and will provide evidence for my point in further paragraphs.

There are many favorable circumstances of being rich and elite but the most important is to help poor people and those who requires basic accommodation and clothes. They can also provide them a 3-time meal for a day. Elite people can do this by connecting themselves to various NGO and temples and can donate their part of money to less resourced group of people in terms of food and house.

Moreover, Landlords will be self-satisfied and enjoy fulfillment in their life by donating resources such as money to underprivileged people. Unfortunately, they may be involved in various activity by which the have committed sins and therefore should indulge in this good activity to balance their sins. In some areas I disagree with the part of people about helping others.

However, In the contrary helping others is not always a best opportunity. The poor people will not go to work and will not contribute anything to country if they will get all basic requirements for free. The rich people also have opportunity to invest where they can gain more amount of money. They can also fulfill their own demands such as buying an expensive car and expensive gifts for family.

I am concluding with the statement that there should be age criteria above 60 who cannot do hard work and earn money should only be given money from elite people while younger people should be given jobs in their factories, construction sites by also providing education to them till 18 years of age.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the role of wealth in helping others. However, the development of ideas is inconsistent. While you present a clear position, the arguments are somewhat superficial. For example, the point about 'committing sins' is not well-integrated into the argument about wealth. Additionally, the conclusion introduces a new, specific policy suggestion (age criteria) that was not previously discussed, which disrupts the logical flow of your argument. To improve, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single, well-supported idea that directly relates to your thesis statement.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or misused. For instance, 'In the contrary' is an incorrect collocation for 'On the contrary'. Furthermore, the transition between the idea of helping the poor and the argument about the negative effects of handouts is abrupt. The logical progression is occasionally hindered by these awkward transitions and some unclear referencing, such as the vague use of 'this part of people' in the introduction.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band. You rely on basic phrasing such as 'poor people' and 'rich people' repeatedly. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'Few part of crowd talk' instead of 'Some people argue' and '3-time meal' instead of 'three nutritious meals'. To reach a higher band, focus on using more academic collocations and synonyms to avoid repetition and improve the sophistication of your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'those who requires'), article usage (e.g., 'the most important is to help poor people'), and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'they may be involved in various activity by which the have committed sins'). While the meaning is generally understandable, these persistent errors in basic grammar and sentence construction prevent the essay from reaching a higher band score.

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