Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-27
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Many individuals thinks that wealthy people creates the opportunity to help others. I agree with this Viewpoint, as financial resources can help others and it creates a positive changes in society. This essay will discuss how being wealthy can enhances the healthy community. Affluent public can provide fund to the new projects which will encourage people to do more research.
To start with, Rich person can contribute to the charity work to the organization. Which will contribute to the poor families and childrens. Affluent people can help needy people and also they can provide working opportunities to many individuals. For example, bill gates has contributed billions of money through his organization to the education and global wealth. They can provide food and basic needs to the poor public. It will improve the health of the less affluent.
Furthermore, wealthy individuals can contribute to the educational facilities and on health of public. Which will bring positive change in the community. They can provide employment to others in many possible ways which can contribute to the economy also. Wealthy public can provide education to those who needs it and they can set an example for others. Their positive changes in society can motivate other individuals. They can provide funds to the schools and hospitals which can help many individual and public will get service at low cost or free of cost.
To conclude with, affluent community can contribute to the society which will improve overall well-being of poor public and it will improve lives of many individuals. Also they can prove employment to people.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The essay addresses the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat repetitive. While you provide examples like Bill Gates, the arguments often circle back to the same points about employment and charity without exploring the nuance of the 'extent' of your agreement. To reach a higher band, you should aim to deepen your analysis by considering potential counter-arguments or exploring the societal impact of wealth beyond just financial donations. The ideas are relevant, but the supporting points lack sufficient depth to move beyond a Band 6 level.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical progression is hindered by repetitive phrasing and mechanical use of cohesive devices. For instance, starting multiple sentences with 'They can' or 'Which will' creates a disjointed flow. Some cohesive devices are used incorrectly, such as starting sentences with 'Which will' (a fragment). To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'consequently', 'furthermore', 'in addition to') and ensure that each sentence connects smoothly to the previous one rather than relying on repetitive sentence structures.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band. You rely heavily on basic terms like 'wealthy', 'poor', and 'help'. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'Affluent public' (which is not a standard collocation) and 'global wealth' (when referring to global health). To improve, try to incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary related to economics and social responsibility, and pay closer attention to how words are paired together in natural English.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, particularly with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'individuals thinks', 'wealthy people creates', 'being wealthy can enhances'). Additionally, there are several sentence fragments, such as 'Which will contribute to the poor families and childrens.' These errors are frequent and occasionally impede the flow of reading. While you attempt some complex structures, they are often marred by these basic errors. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and avoiding sentence fragments will significantly improve your score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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