Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-27
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In recent years, wealth has become a subject of intense debate in modern society. Some people believe that the most significant thing about being wealthy is that the individual has the opportunity to help needy ones, while others oppose by saying that there are also many other advantageous of being rich. I partly agree with the statement because I think that helping others is just single element and the rich person can experience many more beyond that.
On the one hand, money can be used as the opportunity to help others for instance rich people can donate money to charity, that can then be used for the well-being of individuals. moreover,
the affluent can use their wealth to educate someone which will be more beneficial than just donating money. Furthermore, wealth allows distribution of food to the people who cannot afford it.
on the other hand, money also allows the person to live their life more comfortably than others such as they can arrange world tour without taking the stress of expenses. They can also start new business without hesitation. Moreover their resources also help them to enroll at world class institutes where they can get exposure to diverse cultures and build relation with others. A survey conducted by United Nations in year 2025 explained itself that 80% of cheerful people are those who's net worth is prodigious.
In conclusion, from my perspective money is useful for helping others but it has vast more advantages than just this single element.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt by discussing the role of wealth in helping others versus personal benefits. You clearly state your position in the introduction and maintain it throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. For instance, while you mention that wealth allows for 'world tours' or 'new business', these points are not fully extended or supported with deeper analysis. To reach a higher band, you should aim to provide more detailed explanations or examples that connect your points back to the core argument more robustly. The conclusion is also quite brief and could better synthesize the main points discussed in the body paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your argument. You use some cohesive devices like 'On the one hand', 'Furthermore', and 'In conclusion' to signal transitions. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly repetitive. Additionally, there are issues with sentence-level cohesion, such as the run-on sentence in the first paragraph ('...charity, that can then be used...') and the lack of proper capitalization at the start of the third paragraph ('on the other hand'). Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring punctuation is used to separate ideas more effectively would improve the flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'affluent', 'prodigious', and 'exposure'. However, there are instances of imprecise word choice and collocation errors, such as 'needy ones' (better: 'the needy' or 'those in need'), 'advantageous of being rich' (should be 'advantages of'), and 'build relation' (should be 'build relationships'). While your vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning, it lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher bands. Focusing on collocations and more natural phrasing will help elevate your writing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include missing articles ('arrange world tour'), subject-verb agreement issues ('those who's net worth is'), and punctuation errors (e.g., lowercase 'on' at the start of a paragraph). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are persistent throughout the text. To improve, you should focus on proofreading for basic errors like article usage, capitalization, and pluralization, and try to incorporate more complex sentence structures with greater accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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