Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In few decades, many people being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others and also support financially.

It is often argued that most important thing about being rich. While some people believe this is beneficial. I completely agree with this view. This essay will explain the reasons for my position.

One primary reason, why I agree is that helping others is so beneficial because it was a good thing for the people. Many people supporting to the urban people, and they give the monthly grocery for them because they do not buy the things. Moreover, wealthy people also support the needy people and also take care for them and also support financially system. However, wealthy people can fund large projects like hospitals, school and ENGO's and disaster relief etc.

Another, significant factor is that many people have rich but they cannot support to the poor families because they were so rude, and arrogant they thought that I'm a rich man. These needy people are fake and they do not need any things. Wealthy people seek only to be the security, comfort and financial problems. They do not want to face any difficulties in the future and they want to live calm, comfortable and peace.

From my perspective, the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others and also support poor families and they gave the money to the needy people to buy clothes and medicines.

In conclusion, I firmly believe that being rich to help others is good thing in the society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt but lacks depth and clarity. While you state your position clearly in the introduction, the development of ideas is inconsistent. The second paragraph attempts to discuss the benefits of helping others, but the points are repetitive and lack logical progression. The third paragraph is confusing; it shifts to discussing why some wealthy people are 'rude and arrogant,' which contradicts your initial agreement with the prompt. The conclusion is brief and does not effectively synthesize the arguments. To improve, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single, well-developed idea that directly supports your thesis, and avoid contradictory statements that weaken your overall argument.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical flow is frequently interrupted by unclear transitions and awkward phrasing. You use some cohesive devices like 'Moreover' and 'In conclusion,' but they are often used mechanically or incorrectly. For example, the transition 'Another, significant factor is that...' introduces a point that does not logically follow the previous paragraph. Additionally, referencing is sometimes unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow your line of reasoning. To improve, focus on using transition words that accurately reflect the relationship between your ideas and ensure that each sentence builds logically upon the previous one.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and often repetitive. You rely on basic terms like 'good thing,' 'people,' and 'support.' There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'support financially system' and 'give the monthly grocery.' Some phrases are unnatural, such as 'In few decades' at the beginning of the essay. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary, including more precise nouns, adjectives, and verbs. Focus on learning common collocations and avoiding the repetition of simple words by using synonyms and more sophisticated academic terminology.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text that occasionally impede communication. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'many people have rich'), incorrect preposition usage (e.g., 'supporting to the urban people'), and fragmented or run-on sentences. The range of structures is limited, consisting mostly of simple sentences with some errors in complex sentence construction. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence structures, ensuring subject-verb agreement, and practicing the correct use of prepositions and articles. Proofreading for these common errors will significantly improve the clarity of your writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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