Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

There is an ongoing debate that the most essential thing the rich people posses is the opportunity to help others. I firmly believe that the major benefit of being rich is having the opportunity to provide aid to people; however, the biggest opportunity is to help himself.

Wealth is one of the blessings of God and spending it for public wellbeing is an opportunity only the rich posses. Wealthy individuals can give more charity than a person with low finances; moreover, charity organizations are being funded by the rich. A person gets the ability to donate to welfare societies, old age homes, charity trust, educational aids and many more due his financial wellbeing. For example, Bill gates and Salman Khan gives most of his wealth to charity organization which one of the benefit of being rich.

On the other hand, we must not limit wealth as the most essential way to help others as wealth firstly help a man himself contributing to his finances and life style. Mostly rich people face minimum challenges as compared to the poor ones including managing finances, health care, transportation facilities and individual importance thus contributing to his personal and family wellbeing. Sometimes the rich ones are considered more wealthy, powerful and independent over the country he lives. For example, rich people like Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos posses personal luxury vehicles, security, properties, and various other things. which is not be accessible to middle and poor class peoples. Secondly, there are lot of people who do not posses much wealth; however, they do all for people aid.

In conclusion, rich people have the most essential opportunity to help others; instead, they have more opportunity to upgrade his livelihood.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt, but the development of ideas is somewhat inconsistent. You clearly state your position in the introduction, but the argument in the second paragraph regarding the 'biggest opportunity' being to help oneself slightly shifts the focus away from the prompt's core premise. While you provide relevant examples like Bill Gates and Elon Musk, the connection between these examples and the extent of your agreement could be more nuanced. The conclusion is a bit abrupt and does not fully synthesize the points made in the body paragraphs. To improve, ensure that every supporting point directly reinforces your central thesis throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. You use cohesive devices such as 'moreover', 'on the other hand', and 'in conclusion' to link ideas. However, some transitions feel mechanical, and the flow between sentences is occasionally interrupted by grammatical errors. For instance, the transition in the final paragraph ('instead, they have more opportunity') does not logically follow the preceding argument. Referencing is generally clear, but ensure that pronouns like 'his' consistently refer back to the correct antecedent, as there is some confusion between singular and plural subjects throughout the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'financial wellbeing', 'charity organizations', and 'livelihood'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and minor collocation errors, such as 'possess' (spelled 'posses'), 'public wellbeing', and 'people aid'. Some phrasing is repetitive, and the use of 'his' to refer to 'rich people' (plural) is a recurring issue. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise collocations and ensure that your vocabulary choices are consistently accurate and appropriate for an academic context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the reader's flow. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'Salman Khan gives' instead of 'give', 'people... does' instead of 'do'), incorrect article usage, and punctuation errors, such as the sentence fragment 'which is not be accessible to middle and poor class peoples.' While the meaning is generally clear, these persistent errors prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and sentence boundaries would significantly improve your score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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