Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In this contemporary era, helping others is one of the noblest quality. It is often argued that one of the crucial thing about being wealthy is that people has the opportunity to help society .I completely agree with this statement because if people have enough money , they support poor people ,charity and their community.

To elaborate it, rich people usually help to provide proper education to children ,who are not able to pay tuition fees ,it will open doors to better education and job opportunities in future and help them to stable their income ,support their family and reduce poverty .Moreover, nowadays many wealthy families provide medical facilities to poor people through campaigns and donations ,so they may take relieve from diseases and should maintain hygiene .

Furthermore , it is very important thing that rich people should help poor communities because they are also equally members of their society .For instance , these days wealthy people built new houses for individuals and children ,who lives in slums and poor-conditioned home ,it improves their living standards and helps them to stay away from illness . Moving further, if rich people helps poor individuals to stand out from poverty , it would encourage their children to stand with others in ups and downs and they may become more responsible in future.

In conclusion , undoubtedly sharing and helping are the important social values, it teach people if they have money they do not improve only peoples life but also make a positive contribute to the society and motivate other rich people to help their community members . by providing education , medical facilities and new homes.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. The ideas are relevant, focusing on education, medical support, and housing as ways wealthy individuals can assist society. However, the development of these points is somewhat repetitive and lacks depth. For instance, the argument about 'helping poor individuals to stand out from poverty' is a bit vague. To reach a higher band, you should provide more specific examples or nuanced reasoning rather than listing general benefits. The conclusion is a bit disjointed and repeats points already made in the body paragraphs, which limits the overall impact of your argument.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. You use some cohesive devices like 'To elaborate it', 'Moreover', and 'Furthermore' to link ideas. However, the usage is sometimes mechanical or slightly unnatural, such as 'Moving further' or 'In this contemporary era'. Additionally, there are issues with punctuation, particularly the inconsistent spacing before commas (e.g., 'Furthermore ,'). Referencing is generally clear, but the flow between sentences could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words to create a more sophisticated progression of ideas.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band. You rely on basic terms like 'rich people', 'poor people', and 'help'. While these communicate your meaning, they are repetitive. There are also some minor collocation errors, such as 'noblest quality' (should be 'noblest qualities') and 'take relieve from diseases' (should be 'find relief from diseases'). To improve, try to incorporate more academic collocations and synonyms to demonstrate a broader range of vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('one of the crucial thing' should be 'one of the crucial things'; 'people has' should be 'people have') and article usage. There are also errors in verb tense and form, such as 'wealthy people built' (should be 'build') and 'it teach people' (should be 'it teaches people'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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