Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is widely believed that the important thing to financial stability is that it provides opportunity to assist people who need help. I firmly disagree that only affluent peoples can help others, it depends on people problem and others can help them with emotional support and sometime with communicational skills.

In modern world, financial help is not required, in some cases people need emotional support or motivation from their families or friends, which assist them to mitigate their problems and reach their goal. For example, many students who migrate to a foreign country for studies, they miss their hometown and family members, they need emotional support rather than financial.

Being rich definitely help people in terms of financial help or give shelters or food to those who are not able to afford them, however, not all rich people help others, if this is the case world should be a better place. All richness is in the hands of few people who control whole world. If someone really care about help other need not to be rich but just kind and altruist. For instance, Bill Gates is rich and help other people around the world, this is because he is kind and think about underprivileged people from developing countries who cannot afford basic needs and their children could not frequent schools because of money.

In conclusion, being rich can help to assist other but also other people who are not rich can help other emotionally and support other whenever they need help.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt, but the development of ideas is somewhat limited. You clearly state your disagreement in the introduction, but the arguments provided are repetitive and lack depth. For instance, the point about emotional support is mentioned twice without significant expansion. While you provide an example regarding students, the connection to the prompt—whether being rich is the 'most important' way to help—could be more nuanced. To improve, ensure each paragraph introduces a distinct, well-supported point that directly addresses the 'to what extent' aspect of the question, rather than simply listing alternative ways to help.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your argument. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally inaccurate. For example, the transition 'if this is the case world should be a better place' is grammatically awkward and disrupts the flow. Additionally, the referencing is sometimes unclear, such as in the phrase 'it depends on people problem'. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and phrases (e.g., 'furthermore', 'consequently', 'in contrast') to create smoother transitions between sentences and ideas.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. You rely on basic terms like 'help' and 'rich', which are repeated frequently throughout the text. There are also some errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'frequent schools' (instead of 'attend schools') and 'altruist' (which is an adjective; the noun is 'altruistic person' or 'altruist'). To improve, try to incorporate more sophisticated synonyms and collocations related to the topic of philanthropy and social support.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'rich people help... if this is the case world should be'), missing articles (e.g., 'in modern world'), and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'it depends on people problem'). While the meaning is generally understandable, these recurring errors prevent the text from reaching a higher band. Focus on proofreading for basic grammar, specifically articles, pluralization, and verb forms, to ensure your writing is more accurate.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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