Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is widely believed that the most crucial aspect of being an affluent is that it provides a plethora of opportunities to assist needy people. In spite of wealth, a substantial number of individuals are not benevolent enough to look after the destitute citizens. I firmly believe that kindness is not associated with the money. This essay will elucidate the significance of facilitating others.

There is an ongoing debate about whether the financial stability inspires you to be kind and hearty. The essential advantage is that wealthy citizens can help the needy people. First and foremost, being rich can motivate you to enhance people's lives. They can invest into an orphanage to provide education to those kids. To illustrate, my uncle is a social worker and helps those who are currently facing the repercussions of flood. It inspires me to become like him to provide other people safety.

On the contrary, an affluent person becomes egoistic and always tries to be condescending. They consider themselves better and look down upon others. They contemplate that having a great income gives them the right to make derogatory comments regarding disadvantaged people. For instance, a politician who came from an underprivileged background oath to enhance the lifestyle of the nation. However, when he gets votes then he refuses to assist others and enjoy his perfect life with numerous unnecessary facilities.

From my perspective, money is just an asset to provide basic facilities. However, people consider it the main objective of life. They spend their whole life running behind it and waste their golden time.

To sum up, affluent people can improve many lives just by their minor contribution. However, money can make people self-centered and arrogant.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The essay addresses the prompt by discussing whether wealth provides the opportunity to help others. You maintain a clear position throughout, arguing that while wealth can facilitate assistance, kindness is independent of money. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. The second paragraph introduces the idea of helping others, but the example of your uncle is personal and lacks the broader analytical depth expected at higher bands. The third paragraph shifts to a critique of wealthy people, which is relevant but slightly distracts from the core prompt about the 'opportunity' to help. To improve, ensure each paragraph directly links back to the extent to which you agree with the premise.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, and there is a logical progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'First and foremost', 'On the contrary', and 'To sum up', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions feel mechanical or slightly forced. For instance, the jump between the second and third paragraphs is abrupt. Additionally, the use of referencing is occasionally unclear; in the third paragraph, the shift from 'an affluent person' to 'a politician' lacks a smooth transition, making the argument feel somewhat disjointed. Improving the variety and subtlety of your linking words will enhance the flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, including terms like 'affluent', 'plethora', 'benevolent', and 'destitute'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors. For example, 'being an affluent' is grammatically incorrect (it should be 'an affluent person'), and 'hearty' is not the correct adjective to describe someone who is kind or generous in this context. Furthermore, phrases like 'oath to enhance' (should be 'takes an oath') and 'enjoy his perfect life' are slightly unnatural. Expanding your vocabulary to include more precise collocations will help you reach a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is a positive step. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow of reading. Common issues include article misuse (e.g., 'the most crucial aspect of being an affluent'), subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'financial stability inspires you'), and tense inconsistencies (e.g., 'when he gets votes then he refuses'). While the meaning is generally clear, these persistent errors prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and article usage would significantly improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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