Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some people think about rich most importantly. Being rich has many benefits. Helping others is one benefit, but it is not the most important one. I firmly subscribe to the view that the main benefit of wealth is the to help others. While I argued that being rich provides opportunities to support people, I do not believe it is the most important advantage. The most persuasive argument in favor of this view is that rich people can do charity, build hospitals and school. This is clearly exemplified by he has denoted billons of dollars of vaccines and education. In Pakistan, Abdul Sattar Edhi if he did not have funds, he could helped so many people. It helps solve society problems poverty, disease. There are other more important benefits of being rich. Rich people can afford the best medical treatment, expensive housing and good education. There are most important for their own life first. They can travel visit the other country with a business class, and follow their passion. A middle class person will first pay his childrens school fees, then do charity. Accordingly, I remain fully convinced that helping others is a significant benefit of being wealth, I believe that financial security, health, and personal freedom are equally, if not more, important. Therefore, I only partially agree with the statement. While philanthropy is commendable, it is a secondary benefit rather than the main reason people value wealth. Thus, can change to help others is what make being rich truly meaningful but it is only several key benefits of being rich.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the role of wealth and the importance of helping others. However, the position is inconsistent. The introduction states, 'I firmly subscribe to the view that the main benefit of wealth is the to help others,' but then immediately contradicts this by saying, 'I do not believe it is the most important advantage.' This lack of clarity regarding your stance makes it difficult for the reader to follow your argument. While you provide some relevant examples like Abdul Sattar Edhi, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial and the conclusion is confusing, as it attempts to balance two opposing views without a clear, unified argument.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay lacks a clear paragraph structure, which makes the progression of ideas difficult to follow. The text is presented as a single block, which is a significant issue for IELTS Task 2. While you attempt to use some cohesive devices like 'While,' 'Accordingly,' and 'Therefore,' their usage is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as the transition 'Thus, can change to help others is what make being rich truly meaningful.' The referencing is also occasionally unclear, particularly when shifting between the importance of charity and personal benefits. Better use of paragraphing and more precise linking words would significantly improve the flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. You rely on simple, repetitive phrasing such as 'being rich' and 'important.' There are also several errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'he has denoted billons of dollars' (should be 'donated') and 'benefit of being wealth' (should be 'wealthy'). While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of sophisticated vocabulary and the presence of word-form errors limit the score. To improve, focus on using more precise academic collocations and ensuring correct word forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability. Examples include 'he could helped so many people' (should be 'could have helped'), 'There are most important for their own life' (should be 'These are'), and 'what make being rich' (should be 'what makes'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While you attempt complex structures, the high frequency of errors in basic subject-verb agreement and verb tense usage prevents a higher score. Focusing on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy would be highly beneficial.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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