Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-31
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Student answer (Band 5.0)
In my opinion, people say that the rich people create the other opportunity to help the people . Do you agree are dis agree The rich business man create a most opportunity for the people and most of the people can work in the office , department , factory etc . They create a new business to start a new worker than he start the new project . In my countries most of the people can work in the different factory , office. The middle class people can well educated and keep working in the good place and most of the young people go tho abroad to get new skill and after he return back to the countries ans start own business and as about the skill with people and he work lot of the day he learn to new skill and work more in the day . The rich are also invest lot of money in different business to make a better of the people . Like undeveloped countries make a lot of opportunity in it and most of the rich people help the other person. most of the richest family are also invest million of dollar can invest in different office . I also agree the rich people he make a lot of opportunity of the people to work in the office . Most of the people can also work under the rich business man . They are some rich help can not like the poor people . He dislike the people and not talk in it, but the few rich people can help the poor and make a work for the people ans people like it
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses the prompt by discussing the role of wealthy individuals in creating employment opportunities. However, the development is limited and repetitive. The argument lacks depth, focusing almost exclusively on job creation rather than exploring the broader concept of 'helping others' (e.g., philanthropy, social welfare, or community development). The position is stated but not consistently maintained or clearly structured. The response lacks a formal introduction and conclusion, and the ideas are presented in a somewhat disjointed manner, which prevents a more thorough exploration of the topic. To improve, you should provide a clear thesis statement and develop distinct arguments in separate paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay lacks a clear paragraph structure, appearing as one continuous block of text. This makes it difficult for the reader to follow the progression of ideas. Cohesive devices are either missing or used incorrectly, such as the repetitive use of 'most of the people' and 'the rich'. There is no clear logical flow between sentences, and the transition between the idea of job creation and the personal observation about 'disliking' poor people is abrupt and confusing. To improve, you must use paragraph breaks to separate distinct ideas and employ a wider range of linking words like 'furthermore', 'consequently', or 'in contrast' to connect your thoughts.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive. Phrases like 'rich people', 'make a lot of opportunity', and 'work in the office' are used frequently, which restricts the range of expression. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'he start the new project' and 'as about the skill with people'. The vocabulary is generally basic and does not demonstrate the flexibility or precision required for higher bands. To improve, try to use synonyms and more specific terminology related to economics, social responsibility, and business, such as 'philanthropy', 'economic growth', 'entrepreneurship', or 'socio-economic impact'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that often impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'The rich business man create'), article usage ('the other opportunity'), and tense consistency ('he return back... and start own business'). Sentence structures are mostly simple or contain errors when attempting more complex constructions. Punctuation is also problematic, with missing commas and incorrect sentence boundaries. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring that subjects and verbs agree, and practicing the correct use of articles and prepositions. Reviewing basic sentence structure will significantly improve the clarity of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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