Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Nowadays, the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others has become a widely discussed issue. Some people believe that believe the rich people have to much money for donate while others argue that but some people thing donate money make people workless and unhealthy. In my opinion, rich people helps poor people and old aged people for medicine, clothes and others. perents less children really need to help to donation for study and others.this essay will discuss the main reasons for this view.

Body Paragraph 1

The first reason is that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. This is mainly because some parents are not rich and have children but dont have money for study and others.In other words, I see some old aged man and woman to really need for medicine and others. For example I see one time one old man to really need money for food. This shows that most important thing for help others.

Body Paragraph 2

Another important point is that help to. Poor people and old aged people. One possible explanation is that [explanation]. Moreover, [supporting detail]. For instance, [specific example]. As a result, [consequence]. Thus, it is evident that [link to the main argument].

Conclusion

In conclusion, most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. is an important issue. Although there are arguments on both sides, I believe that help for people and old aged people.This is because old aged don't have work. Overall, [final recommendation/general statement].

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt but struggles with development. While you state your position, the arguments are repetitive and lack depth. The second body paragraph is incomplete, using placeholders like '[explanation]' and '[supporting detail]' instead of providing actual content. This significantly impacts your ability to fully develop your ideas. To improve, ensure you provide specific, logical arguments for each point and avoid using template placeholders. The conclusion also fails to synthesize the argument effectively, as it repeats the introduction rather than summarizing the main points discussed. Focus on expanding your reasoning with clear examples rather than just restating the prompt.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the internal structure is weak. The use of cohesive devices is limited and often repetitive (e.g., 'The first reason is', 'Another important point is'). The flow between sentences is frequently interrupted by grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, making it difficult to follow your logic. The inclusion of bracketed placeholders in the second paragraph disrupts the coherence of the entire piece. To improve, use a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'consequently', 'furthermore', 'in contrast') and ensure that each sentence logically follows the previous one without relying on repetitive structures.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

Your vocabulary is quite limited and often repetitive. You frequently use basic terms like 'money', 'help', and 'others' throughout the essay. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'workless' instead of 'unemployed' and 'perents less children' instead of 'orphans' or 'children without parents'. The vocabulary is sufficient to convey the basic message, but it lacks the precision and range required for a higher band score. To improve, try to incorporate more academic vocabulary related to social issues and wealth, and pay closer attention to correct word forms and collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text that occasionally impede communication. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'rich people helps'), incorrect article usage, and sentence fragments (e.g., 'This shows that most important thing for help others'). Your sentence structures are mostly simple, and attempts at more complex sentences often result in errors. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with several run-on sentences and misplaced periods. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically subject-verb agreement and the correct use of prepositions, before attempting more complex grammatical structures.

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