Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

An growing number of people believe that the only aim of becoming rich is to help poorer and unprivileged ones. However, I disagree with this perspective, because wealthier population will have their own needs and desires to fulfill and they often behave selfish when it comes to spending on others.

The primary reason against helping the poor people would be; the wealthier individuals are often engaged in their personal growth rather than thinking about others. For instance, they are more interested in investing their excess money in stocks instead of offering it to poor people. Likewise, they subsequently thought to improve their income in possible ways. Another reason could be; they often spend their own budget to buy their expensive favorite items residing in their wish list form long back, Dyson, for example, which requires large ransom to invest.

Furthermore, richer population often avoids poor background ones. They see them as their opponents, they think that if they help them now what if they become rich like them in future. They are too self-oriented and restrict themselves from spending or offering to it unprivileged. For example, we often see the politicians promising public about improvements they will bring in future if they support them, after winning the elections they try to avoid people and eventually forget their promises and utilize those funds for self purposes. Therefore, richer are unwilling to help poorer in difficulties.

In conclusion, wealthier population often try to look after themselves and their own needs instead of helping the needed public. I believe that, spending money on poorer is not the primary purpose of rich individuals.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position against the idea that the primary purpose of wealth is to help others. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and relies on generalizations. For instance, the argument that wealthy people view the poor as 'opponents' is a sweeping claim that lacks nuance. While the position is maintained throughout, the supporting arguments, such as the example of politicians, are not fully relevant to the general concept of 'being rich' and could be better developed to show a deeper understanding of the topic. The response is consistent but would benefit from more balanced and sophisticated reasoning.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, each with a central theme. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Furthermore', 'For instance', and 'In conclusion', which help the reader follow the argument. However, some transitions feel mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'The primary reason against helping the poor people would be; the wealthier individuals...'. Additionally, the use of punctuation, specifically the misuse of semicolons, occasionally disrupts the flow of ideas. While the progression is logical, the relationship between some sentences could be smoother to achieve a higher band score.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express their opinion clearly. There are some attempts at less common vocabulary, such as 'unprivileged' and 'self-oriented', but there are also instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'large ransom to invest' (instead of 'large sum') and 'promising public' (missing an article). The phrase 'poorer and unprivileged ones' is slightly repetitive and unnatural. To improve, the student should focus on more precise collocations and avoid informal phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that, while not impeding communication, are noticeable. Examples include 'An growing number' (should be 'A growing'), 'behave selfish' (should be 'behave selfishly'), and 'residing in their wish list form long back'. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly the incorrect use of semicolons and commas. While the writer attempts complex structures, the control over these is not consistent enough for a higher band. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and article usage would significantly improve accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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