Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-03
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Student answer (Band 5.5)
It is often argued that the most significant things about being rich is that one has the chance to help others. I completely agree with this statement because poor people will benefit financially.
To begin with, the main reason why I agree with this statement is that in our society, there are lot of students who could not continue their study just for their financial problems. As a result, they would drop out from school or college and starting income to support their family. For instance, if rich people in our society come to help poor students with education, they will be able to show their talent in the future. After completing their study, they will be capable to contribute to the development of society and the country.
Despite these arguments, there is also a case for the idea that financial crises often drive individuals toward unlawful activities out of desperation, such as eve teasing, drug addition, murder and so on. The main reason why people think that it is a good idea is that after financial stable a person does not any unusual activities or any crime. As a result, crime decrease dramatically, fostering a safer and more harmonious society, more educated person. Besides that, financial contribution could generate more employment opportunities and fund vocational training. This enable low-income individuals become self-depended and effectively reduce overall poverty rates.
In conclusion, it must be said that main important thing to being rich is the opportunities to help other has become a complex issue with no easy solution. Despite arguments often contrary, I strongly agree with this statement because it will contribute to the far-reaching progress of society.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. While the first body paragraph provides a logical argument regarding education, the second paragraph is less focused, listing various social issues like 'eve teasing' and 'drug addition' without clearly linking them back to the core argument about the responsibility of the wealthy. The conclusion is slightly contradictory, as it labels the topic a 'complex issue with no easy solution' after having stated a strong agreement earlier. To improve, ensure that every supporting point directly reinforces your central thesis without introducing tangential arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. Cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'As a result', and 'In conclusion' are used to guide the reader. However, some transitions are mechanical or slightly misused, such as 'Despite these arguments, there is also a case for the idea that...', which does not effectively contrast with the previous paragraph. Additionally, some sentences lack smooth flow due to grammatical errors, which occasionally disrupts the logical connection between ideas. Improving the variety and precision of linking words would enhance the overall coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express their ideas clearly. There are attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary, such as 'vocational training', 'employment opportunities', and 'poverty rates'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choices and collocations, such as 'starting income' instead of 'earning an income', 'after financial stable' instead of 'after becoming financially stable', and 'self-depended' instead of 'self-reliant'. These errors do not impede communication but indicate a need for more precise control over word forms and common English collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there is a high frequency of grammatical errors. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('the most significant things... is'), missing articles ('continue their study'), and awkward phrasing ('does not any unusual activities'). While the meaning remains clear, these persistent errors in basic grammar and sentence construction prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. To improve, focus on proofreading for subject-verb agreement, correct article usage, and ensuring that complex sentences are constructed with accurate verb forms.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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