Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is often believed that affluent people has the opportunity to help others and this is the most significant thing about being rich. I partially agree with this view, as they also have several advantages of being rich.

First of all, I believe that wealthy community has the opportunity to help poor people by providing them with the basic facilities they need in their lives. Moreover, they can help patients who cannot afford expensive treatments by giving them money or by depositing their hospital fees. Basic benefit of rich people is that they can help society in various ways. For example, many children cannot study because they belong to mediocre families who cannot afford educational expenditures. In this case, upper-class individuals can aid them by providing enough money that their children can easily get admission in the schools with good reputation in society, so that they may become successful in their lives, and to support their families financially.

However, rich people also have a lot of other facilities such as, living a peaceful life with luxury lifestyle. They often do not get worried about basic life problems that poor people may face like saving money to pay electricity bills and to purchase groceries within a limited balance to use money for many other purposes. However, they can get high profile job without any effort as they have links with elite class people. They may have stronger connections with politicians which make it easier to do anything without any tension, it can be something right or wrong. For example, if a young boy belonging to rich family commit any crime, he can get bail easily, whereas the poor boy has to suffer for years in the jail.

In conclusion, although, rich people have a chance to help others, they may have more personal benefits of being a rich. They mostly use these advantages more than helping other people.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by acknowledging the potential for philanthropy while arguing that personal benefits are also significant. The position is clear throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. While the first body paragraph provides clear examples of how the wealthy can help, the second paragraph focuses more on the negative aspects of wealth (corruption and privilege) rather than directly contrasting the 'importance' of helping others. To reach a higher band, you should ensure that every point made directly relates back to the prompt's core question about the significance of being rich. The conclusion is a bit brief and could better synthesize the arguments presented.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear central topic. Cohesive devices such as 'First of all', 'Moreover', 'However', and 'In conclusion' are used to guide the reader. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally imprecise, such as in the sentence 'Basic benefit of rich people is that they can help society in various ways.' The flow between sentences could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that pronouns clearly refer back to their antecedents to avoid ambiguity.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey your ideas, including terms like 'affluent', 'expenditures', and 'elite class'. However, there are some issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'wealthy community' (should be 'the wealthy' or 'wealthy individuals') and 'get high profile job' (should be 'obtain high-profile jobs'). There is also some repetition of basic words like 'help' and 'rich'. To improve, focus on using more precise synonyms and collocations to enhance the sophistication of your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement ('affluent people has', 'rich family commit') and article usage ('the rich people', 'a rich'). While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. You should focus on proofreading for basic agreement and article consistency. Incorporating more varied complex structures, such as conditional sentences or passive voice, would also help demonstrate a wider grammatical range.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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