Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In today's modern era, money plays a pivotal role in everyone's life. One of the benefit of having wealth gives chance to help people some argue. A largely agree with the notion that money gives advantage to help needy however, I also believe that there are other significant benefit such as, security and personal freedom.

To initiate, one important reason I agree with this statement that wealthy people can make difference in the society. For instance, If someone has money he can donate that to non-profit organizations or any charity houses which can use that to help children, old-age people, person with disabilities or anyone who is in need. These type of trust help children to access all the resources which they cannot afford and this ultimately benefit the development of a country.

Moreover, by helping other person can feel relaxed and satisfaction. For example, if a business man use the local sources instead of outsourcing he is supporting the local community by providing them employment or using local produce. This can give them a peace of mind.

Nevertheless, there are numerous advantage of being rich. There is a financial security which reduce the stress and give access to all the resources such as medical, education, food and many more. Wealth also help person to have personal freedom like travelling, achieving personal goals and things which can give him internal satisfaction.

To conclude, I majorly agree with the statement of wealth give chance to help other people as, it is the most important benefit that came along with money. However, there is no stress of financial crisis or fulfill own needs are the another benefits of the wealth.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the importance of helping others while also acknowledging other benefits of wealth. The position is clear throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. The second paragraph provides a good example regarding non-profit organizations, but the third paragraph regarding local sourcing is less relevant to the core argument of 'helping others' in the context of wealth. While the task is addressed, the ideas could be extended with more depth to reach a higher band. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points, though it repeats some of the earlier phrasing.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear central topic. Cohesive devices such as 'To initiate', 'Moreover', 'Nevertheless', and 'To conclude' are used to guide the reader through the argument. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly unnatural, such as 'To initiate' to start an essay. Additionally, there are some minor issues with referencing and sentence flow, such as the awkward phrasing in the introduction: 'One of the benefit of having wealth gives chance to help people some argue.' Despite these minor lapses, the overall progression of ideas is clear and easy to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express ideas clearly. There are attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'non-profit organizations', 'outsourcing', and 'financial security'. However, there are several instances of word-choice errors and awkward collocations, such as 'charity houses' (instead of 'charities'), 'old-age people' (instead of 'the elderly'), and 'majorly agree' (instead of 'largely agree'). These errors do not impede communication, but they limit the score as they demonstrate a lack of precision and natural control over more sophisticated lexical items.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the writer attempts complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement ('One of the benefit', 'Wealth also help person') and article usage ('a business man use the local sources'). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are errors in comma placement, such as 'significant benefit such as, security'. The errors are noticeable and occur throughout the text, though they rarely prevent the reader from understanding the intended meaning. To improve, the writer should focus on basic grammatical accuracy and subject-verb agreement.

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