Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

By and large, it is widely argued that citizen who have monetary affluency can facilitate others. I completely agree with this notion because it negates socioeconomic inequality and illicit activities.

First and foremost, keeping attitude of being rich and not giving others creates an imbalance in the society. Rapacious businessmen earning lucrative amounts of money and building their empire in front of the lower economic class of people would make them feel inferior. As a result, mental and social pressure builds inside their families and their children may have severely negative impact on their brains. For instance, children of rich class people travelling in cars, while their peers who belongs to poor class watching and coveting their lifestyles. Therefore, By donating some needful things among the people residing below poverty line stem them to complete their families at some extent.

Moreover, watching exorbitant amount of money can lead to fall in illegal activities. Industrious people are being persuaded to earn more money, despite of trying everything, they are unable to compete rich people. Consequently, they choose an unlawful way to fulfill their desire, which lead to robbery and theft like cases. As an example, a maid working in a bungalow may envy their owner's money.

to sum it up, I believe, rich people can help.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, which significantly impacts the development of ideas. While you clearly state your position in the introduction, the arguments are under-developed. For instance, the second paragraph attempts to link wealth inequality to illegal activities, but the example of a maid envying her owner is too brief and lacks the necessary depth to fully support the argument. To improve, you must expand on your points with more detailed explanations and specific examples to ensure the task is fully addressed.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the progression of ideas is somewhat disjointed. While you use some cohesive devices like 'First and foremost' and 'Moreover', the transitions between sentences are occasionally abrupt. The conclusion is extremely brief and lacks a summary of the main points, which affects the overall coherence. To reach a higher band, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that ideas flow logically from one to the next using a wider variety of linking words.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an attempt to use more sophisticated vocabulary, such as 'monetary affluency', 'rapacious', and 'exorbitant'. However, some of these are used incorrectly or sound unnatural, such as 'monetary affluency' (which is not standard collocation) and 'stem them to complete their families'. There are also minor errors in word choice, such as 'citizen' instead of 'citizens'. To improve, focus on using vocabulary that you are confident is natural and accurate in context, rather than forcing complex words that may lead to errors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'keeping attitude of being rich', 'children who belongs to poor class', and 'despite of trying everything'. Subject-verb agreement and article usage are inconsistent throughout the text. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents a higher score. You should focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and ensuring that prepositions are used correctly with common phrases.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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