Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The growing influence of rich people in modern society has sparked various debates. Some people believe that the most significant thing about being rich is that one has help to others people. I am agree with this argument and in this essay, I will discuss view and give my opinion with some suitable examples.

There are many benefits of helping others people in different ways. Some students have belonged to the poor families, and they do not manage the education expenditures. When universities give the scholarships then they easily get admission in good universities and create the opportunities for future career. Some people are worried about jobs then companies give chance for working then they are earning money and become a rich person. For example, my close friend has belonged to poor family then his uncle gives the opportunity for working in the Freelancer company and now become a manager of this company and earn a lot of amounts every month.

Furthermore, some individuals have not money for starting the small business, when their friends or relatives help you for creating business. A little effort is very helpful for this person and once a time in future, he become a successful businessman in their country. For instance, my teacher helps me for learning trading course and now I am earning a good money with help of my teacher.

In conclusion, I think everyone need a chance in future for creating their own career and it is possible with helps of other. A little help can change a life of people.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The essay addresses the prompt by agreeing that the opportunity to help others is the most important aspect of wealth. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you provide examples, they are personal and anecdotal rather than exploring the broader societal implications of wealth. The argument remains somewhat narrow, focusing on individual assistance rather than the systemic impact of philanthropy. To reach a higher band, you should expand your reasoning to discuss why this is the 'most important' aspect compared to other potential benefits of wealth, such as personal security or influence, providing a more balanced and analytical perspective.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For example, phrases like 'once a time in future' and 'some students have belonged to the poor families' disrupt the flow. The transition between ideas is sometimes abrupt, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the shift from discussing university scholarships to job opportunities within the same paragraph. Improving the variety and precision of linking words would significantly enhance the logical progression of your arguments.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and incorrect word choices, such as 'earn a lot of amounts' and 'create the opportunities for future career'. You rely on basic vocabulary and struggle with collocations, such as 'have not money' instead of 'lack the funds'. To improve, focus on learning more sophisticated synonyms and practicing common collocations related to social and economic topics to express your ideas more naturally and accurately.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('everyone need'), article usage ('the poor families'), and tense consistency. For instance, 'I am agree' should be 'I agree', and 'he become' should be 'he becomes'. While the meaning is generally understandable, these recurring errors prevent the text from being considered error-free. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for common grammatical slips will help improve your score in this area.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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