Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

I am totally disagree with it that being rich is one of the most important thing to help other people.

I am opinion the most important factor to help each others is humanity. if we can have feeling for others people we can help them very easily althought we do not have sufficient amount.

some people do not need just some piece of papers in the shape of currency. They just need sympathy from others and that is enough for them. for example if a person got any injury in any accident and we just call the rescue teams, it will be enough help for him\her instead of gaving them some amount.

On the other hand, some people say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. They are also correct but in just some cases like if someone admitted in hospital and their attendant do not have enough amount to treat their patient well. In that case rich people can help them easily. Another example, Palestine is now a war palace where a large number of people do not have any thing to eat and a large number of childrens are on their death bed just because of lack of food. Many richest people contributing in fund raising to gave better life for the people of palestine.

In conclusion, both sides of the argument have valid points, but a combination of wealth and empathy creates the greatest impact on society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position, although the argument is somewhat simplistic. You successfully identify that while wealth facilitates help, empathy is a fundamental driver. The examples provided, such as the mention of accident victims and the situation in Palestine, are relevant to the topic. However, the development of these ideas is limited; the essay would benefit from deeper analysis of why wealth is or is not the 'most important' factor. To reach a higher band, ensure that your arguments are more thoroughly explored and that the distinction between financial aid and emotional support is more clearly articulated throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. There is a clear progression of ideas from the initial disagreement to the acknowledgement of the opposing view. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive (e.g., 'In that case', 'Another example'). The transition between the two main body paragraphs could be smoother to better reflect the shift in perspective. While the paragraphing is appropriate, the overall flow would be improved by using a wider variety of linking words and phrases to connect sentences more naturally.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety required for higher bands. You rely on basic phrasing, such as 'some piece of papers' and 'large number of', which limits the sophistication of your argument. There are also some inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'war palace' instead of 'war zone' and 'gaving' instead of 'giving'. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and academic vocabulary. Expanding your range of synonyms and avoiding repetitive phrasing will help you convey your ideas with greater clarity and impact.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('I am totally disagree'), article usage ('the most important thing'), and verb forms ('if someone admitted' instead of 'if someone is admitted'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with capitalization and sentence boundaries. While the meaning is generally clear, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and correct verb tenses will significantly improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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