Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-05
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Student answer (Band 5.0)
For wealthy people, few things are more critical than helping others. In many developed and developing countries a substantial amount of money belongs to rich people as they often necessitate the use of various sectors for helping lower class people. Nowadays, many would agree that contemporary society has nearly transcended its traditional boundaries and soon will become boundless in its pursuit of rich people for helping other lower class individuals. Nevertheless, I firmly believe that becoming rich is that one has the opportunity to help others.
Naturally, being wealthy is the form of getting chance to helping others is considered more essential for society, creating inexhaustible facilities for living standards that are not available from other sources. Moreover, rich people demonstrate unparalleled benefits for the poor, permeating and enhancing every conceivable sector of society. Since help needed individuals seek support and fulfillment through wealthy people, getting help from rich people is imperative to elevate modern living help seekers. If this is adopted by every rich, many people stand to benefit significantly. Wealthy individuals in nations such as Dubai and Qatar for instance, have emerged as a pivotal model for helping for poor's, delivering enhanced services for the lower class.
Under certain circumstances some people may shy away from becoming rich due to the range of challenges such as, metal and physical health crises, fear of failure and lack of support and so on. While wealthy people widely help others in many major cities worldwide, some people in impoverished and developing frequently contend with profound financial limitations when striving to implement this approach. Therefore, the notion of becoming rich is not always appealing.
To conclude, it is the responsibility of rich people to evaluate the rule of helping opportunity and determine whether it will do more harm than good. Thus, it is evident that fostering an interest becoming rich is bec
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses the prompt, but the development of ideas is inconsistent. While you state a position, the supporting arguments are often vague or repetitive, such as the claim that wealthy people 'permeate every conceivable sector of society.' The third paragraph introduces a counter-argument regarding the challenges of becoming rich, but it does not clearly link back to the core question of whether helping others is the most important aspect of wealth. The conclusion is incomplete, cutting off mid-sentence, which prevents a clear summary of your position. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and specific, logical examples that directly support your stance.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical flow is frequently interrupted by unclear phrasing and awkward transitions. For example, the transition 'Nowadays, many would agree...' does not logically lead into your thesis. Cohesive devices are used, but they are often mechanical or misused, such as 'Therefore, the notion of becoming rich is not always appealing,' which does not follow from the previous point about financial limitations. The referencing is sometimes confusing, making it difficult to follow the progression of your argument. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each sentence builds logically on the previous one will enhance the coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary, attempting some sophisticated terms like 'inexhaustible,' 'unparalleled,' and 'pivotal.' However, there are frequent issues with word choice and collocation that hinder precision. Phrases like 'getting chance to helping others' and 'help needed individuals' are grammatically awkward and unnatural. Additionally, the phrase 'metal and physical health' is likely a typo for 'mental.' While you have a sufficient range to convey basic meaning, the lack of precision and the presence of word-choice errors limit your ability to express complex ideas fluently. Focus on learning how words are used in context rather than just memorizing advanced vocabulary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but accuracy is inconsistent. There are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'the form of getting chance to helping others' and 'fostering an interest becoming rich is bec.' Subject-verb agreement and preposition usage are also problematic throughout the text. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of errors is high enough to cause some difficulty for the reader. To reach a higher band, you need to focus on basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like missing articles, incorrect verb forms, and incomplete sentences.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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