Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Across the society, several people mentioned that the most important thing of being rich is to have the opportunity to help others. I partly agree with this statement because it is a fact that most wealthy people could provide opportunities to help other people by developing businesses or establishments that could hire average wage earners aiding the economic development and providing charity events that could help people with disabilities and in need, however the statement 'most important thing' should not be limited to rich people because they have worked hard to reach their ambitions and I believe that government should have a big role on this situation as this is part of our economic welfare. In this essay, I will discuss my take on this statement and suggest how government and wealthy individuals could collaborate for economic growth.

While it is true that rich people have impact to our society; I don't agree that it is the most important thing for them as they have life and family on their own. My point is that the government's main responsibility are the people including mitigating poverty and low employment rate; they should coordinate with wealthy people that runs aorganization with the aim to provide opportunities to those who are in by developing projects such as public park and entertainment district. These projects could provide job opportunities thus helping economic growth; this is possible by rightfully using the tax earnings and the distribution of funds.

To conclude, the government should prioritized mitigating low employment rate and poverty by collaborating with wealthy individuals that has a businesses that could provide job hiring.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the role of wealthy individuals in helping others, but the development is somewhat limited. While you present a clear position, the argument regarding the government's role feels slightly tangential to the core question about the 'most important thing' about being rich. The ideas are relevant, but they lack depth and specific examples to fully support your stance. To improve, ensure that every paragraph directly relates back to the prompt's focus on the responsibilities or opportunities associated with wealth, rather than shifting the focus primarily to government policy.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the flow between ideas is sometimes mechanical. You use some cohesive devices like 'While it is true that' and 'To conclude', but the transition between the introduction and the body paragraphs is slightly abrupt. Additionally, some sentences are quite long and contain multiple clauses that are not always connected smoothly, which can make the progression of ideas feel a bit disjointed. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear, singular focus would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to express your ideas clearly. However, there is a reliance on basic or repetitive phrasing, such as 'help others' and 'provide opportunities'. There are also some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'runs aorganization' (should be 'runs an organization') and 'job hiring' (should be 'employment opportunities'). To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more precise, topic-specific vocabulary related to economics, social responsibility, and philanthropy to demonstrate a wider range.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally affect the flow, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('government's main responsibility are', 'wealthy individuals that has a businesses') and punctuation errors, particularly the misuse of semicolons and commas. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your meaning, they are frequent enough to limit the score. Focusing on proofreading for basic agreement and ensuring correct punctuation will help improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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