Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In contemporary society, being richer means that they should help other people, which has emerged as a highly debated issue. While a segment of people claim that it has led to a higher impact on society, others strongly oppose this notion. From my viewpoint, I agree with the given statement, as it offers a multitude of significant advantages.

To commence with, the compelling reason for supporting my viewpoint is that wealthier people ought to contribute some funds to other individuals. People nowadays are needy because of high inflation rates, and everyone is not capable of fulfilling other needs, but being in a good position of wealth, individuals show more sympathy towards the society. For example, by giving the small amount to the deserving commuters, make them feel happy and delighted. Therefore, it is a source of gaining more blessings from these people.

Another noteworthy justification is that those who have enough fortune can donate a good amount in education funding. Because mostly people cannot afford to bear the expense of the child's education. Although educational fees are too high that everyone cannot afford them. For instance, a single breadwinner who running his family cannot afford to provide good education to their offspring. This type of person cannot show their inner feeling of problem to the community. Hence, providing their children with good quality of education is a key of getting more success for the wealthier person.

To sum up, it should be the responsibility of every affluent individual to support other lower-class families in a way that they can easily access other necessities of life in a more good way. By doing this, it makes them encourage to accomplish their goal easily without any hurdles.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. The ideas are relevant, focusing on financial support for the needy and educational funding. However, the development is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument regarding 'gaining blessings' is subjective and lacks depth. The explanation of how wealth enables help is clear, but the supporting examples are a bit generic. To reach a higher band, you should aim to extend your ideas with more specific, analytical reasoning rather than relying on general statements. The conclusion effectively summarizes your stance, though it introduces a slightly new focus on 'lower-class families' that could have been integrated earlier.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph has a central theme. You use cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'Another noteworthy justification', and 'To sum up' to guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical or repetitive. The referencing is generally clear, though the connection between sentences within paragraphs could be smoother. For example, in the second paragraph, the transition from inflation to 'deserving commuters' is a bit abrupt. Improving the flow between sentences would enhance the overall coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'contemporary society', 'affluent individual', and 'compelling reason'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. For example, 'running his family' is not standard usage; 'supporting his family' would be more natural. Similarly, 'key of getting more success' should be 'key to achieving success'. While your vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly, you need to use more precise collocations and less common lexical items to move into the higher bands. Avoid repetitive phrasing like 'good amount' or 'good quality'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally affect the flow. For instance, 'everyone is not capable' should be 'not everyone is capable'. There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and article usage, such as 'a single breadwinner who running his family' (should be 'who is running') and 'a key of getting' (should be 'a key to getting'). Punctuation is generally functional, but some sentences are slightly awkward. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of relative clauses will significantly improve your accuracy.

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