Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

these days, there has been a lot of talk about whether the most important thing is being rich is having the opportunity to help others. This essay will delve deeper into the possible punitive reasons, viewpoints, and advantages scenario before presenting my school of thought in the ensuing paragraphs with sufficient and relevant examples.

at first glance, there are several reasons in viewpoint, but the most obvious one is that wealthy people have greater financial resources to support those in need. for example, one survey conducted by The Daily News revealed that the majority of people are responsible for this phenomenon, while only a few are aware of it. a result, is clear why large number of people agree with the aforementioned position.

my point is further supported by the fact that helping others can create a positive impact on society. a famous non-governmental organization has been working to overcome this social problems, and they suggest that wealthy individuals should contribute to the betterment of society. Thus, this will not only improve living standards but also make individuals more responsible and practical in their approach that.

on the other hand ,some people think that begin rich is not only about helping other but also about achieving personal goal and enjoy .Therefore, it understandable why some people consider personal security important of being wealthy.

to recapitulate, it may be argued that, Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. even though there are many causes, overviews, viewpoints, arguments, pros as well as negatives of as . lastly, it seems to me that it is a wide idea to use such options, and they are pragmatic as well for a human being on Earth. In order to foster global wealth, productivity, and a fine environment, citizens are urged to abide by the relevant laws and regulations.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt but struggles with clarity and focus. While you acknowledge the topic, the position is not consistently maintained. The introduction uses filler phrases like 'punitive reasons' and 'scenario' which do not fit the context, and the conclusion fails to clearly restate your stance, instead repeating the prompt and introducing irrelevant advice about 'laws and regulations'. Ideas are present but remain under-developed; for instance, the mention of a 'survey' lacks specific detail, and the argument about personal goals in the fourth paragraph is too brief to be persuasive. To improve, ensure every sentence directly supports your central argument.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical progression is often disrupted by awkward phrasing and confusing transitions. While you use some cohesive devices like 'at first glance' and 'on the other hand', they are sometimes used incorrectly or do not lead to a logical flow of ideas. The referencing is occasionally unclear, particularly in the final paragraph where the connection between the topic and the advice about 'global wealth' is disjointed. Paragraphing is present, but the internal structure of the paragraphs lacks the necessary cohesion to guide the reader smoothly through your argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and often used inaccurately. Phrases like 'punitive reasons' and 'wide idea' are misused, suggesting a lack of understanding of these terms. There is also a reliance on repetitive or generic language. While you attempt to use some academic-style vocabulary, the lack of precision in word choice and collocation often obscures your intended meaning. To reach a higher band, focus on learning the specific contexts in which academic words are used and avoid 'filler' vocabulary that does not contribute to the development of your ideas.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation that occasionally impede readability. Examples include 'a result, is clear' (missing subject/connector), 'begin rich' (incorrect verb form), and 'approach that' (dangling modifier). Punctuation is inconsistent, with irregular spacing and capitalization issues. While the meaning is generally discernible, the high frequency of grammatical slips prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focus on subject-verb agreement and ensuring that complex sentences are constructed with correct syntax.

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