Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some people think that most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. I strongly believe that if you have enough money to fulfil your needs you have to give money to poor people and help them because they are waiting for someone who took care of their needs and for financial help.

First on the one hand rich people have greater abilities to help others. They can donate money to charities, poor people and for disabled persons who are not able to earn money on their own. For example wealthy individuals can build hospital where health facilities are not very good and also they can build schools in urban sides where education system needs to facilitate. In addition they can create jobs and support small businesses that can create a big positive development in society and make a great difference which can improve people's lives in long term

On the other hand being rich is not always means to help others because financial security of ours is the first priority and most important thing. Wealthy people can afford better education, health insurance and comfortable housing for themselves and their family. They also have more freedom to choose their careers and lifestyles without worrying about basic financial problems.

In conclusion about being rich if you have enough financial security you have to help other people who are not very financial stable and do not afford even basic needs for them selves and their families. But you have to give priority to themselves and your family.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the role of wealth in helping others versus personal financial security. You maintain a clear position throughout, acknowledging the importance of helping others while balancing it with the need for personal stability. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the suggestion that wealthy individuals can build hospitals or schools is a good point, but it lacks specific detail or depth to fully explore the 'extent' of the argument. The conclusion is a bit repetitive and could have been used to synthesize your points more effectively. To reach a higher band, ensure that each supporting point is fully explained with more nuanced reasoning.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, each with a central theme. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'First', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion' to guide the reader. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and the use of cohesive devices is limited. For example, the transition between the first and second body paragraphs could be smoother. Additionally, there are some issues with referencing, such as in the final paragraph where the pronoun usage ('themselves' vs 'yourself') becomes slightly confusing. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring consistent pronoun usage would enhance the logical flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, allowing you to convey your ideas clearly. You use relevant terms like 'financial security', 'charities', and 'wealthy individuals'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'urban sides' (should be 'urban areas') and 'not very financial stable' (should be 'not very financially stable'). The vocabulary is generally functional but lacks the sophistication or precision required for higher bands. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and avoiding repetitive phrasing, such as the frequent use of 'help' and 'money'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include 'being rich is not always means to help' (should be 'does not always mean'), 'build hospital' (missing article 'a'), and 'do not afford even basic needs for them selves' (should be 'themselves'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with missing commas in complex sentences. While these errors do not impede overall communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focus on subject-verb agreement and article usage to improve accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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