Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, wealth and social responsibility has become a common topic of discussion. There are both advantages and disadvantages to this development. This essay will discuss the main benefits and drawbacks of wealth and social responsibility before giving may opinion.

There is several advantages of richness and charity. The major benefit is that rich people have more financial resources, so they can help people who are struggling. This is because they have enough money to donate to charities, support poor families, or fund important social projects. For example, a wealthy people can donate money to build school and hospital in poor area, which can improve life of many people living there. Another benefit is that rich people can invest money in the project that benefit the society.

however, on the other side, there are many disadvantages of this topic. The main drawback is that being rich does not mean someone will help others. This is because some wealthy people are more interested in increasing their own wealth and maintaining their lifestyle than helping the society. For example millionaire spend lot of money to buy luxury car and expensive holidays instead of donating people in poverty. one thing which I believe is that helping other can create dependency. This is because if a people can continuously receive money or food without any efforts can decrease motivation to do work. For example, instead of simply giving money to unemployed people, wealthy individuals could fund vocational training that helps them develop skills and find jobs.

In conclusion, wealthy people can donate money to peoples who struggle with their life, invest to non profitable NGO who help the society. In my opinion I think wealthy people can provide the medium to learn the skill instead of giving money direct to unemployed peoples. This is best approach for wealthy to donate.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the role of wealth in helping others. However, the introduction is slightly off-topic as it frames the essay as a discussion of 'advantages and disadvantages' of wealth and social responsibility, rather than focusing specifically on the extent to which the candidate agrees that helping others is the most important aspect of being rich. While the body paragraphs provide relevant points, the position is somewhat inconsistent. The conclusion introduces a specific nuance about vocational training that was not fully integrated into the main argument. To improve, ensure the thesis statement directly addresses the prompt's specific question and maintain that focus throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. Cohesive devices such as 'The major benefit is', 'Another benefit is', and 'In conclusion' are used to guide the reader. However, some transitions are mechanical, and the use of referencing is occasionally imprecise, such as 'this topic' in the second paragraph, which does not clearly refer back to a specific antecedent. Paragraphing is used appropriately, but the internal flow within paragraphs could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words to connect sentences more fluidly rather than relying on simple additive connectors.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the student to express ideas clearly. There are some attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as 'vocational training' and 'financial resources'. However, there are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'richness' instead of 'wealth', 'a wealthy people' (should be 'wealthy people'), and 'invest money in the project that benefit the society'. Additionally, there is some repetition of basic terms like 'money' and 'help'. To reach a higher band, the student should focus on using more precise collocations and avoiding repetitive phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement ('There is several advantages', 'millionaire spend lot of money') and article usage ('build school and hospital', 'in poor area'). Pluralization errors, such as 'peoples' and 'skills' (used correctly, but 'peoples' is incorrect in this context), also occur. While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Increasing the accuracy of basic grammatical rules and proofreading for subject-verb agreement would significantly improve the score.

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