Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, wealth and social responsibility have become a common topic of discussion. This essay will discuss the main benefits and drawbacks of wealth and social responsibility before giving my opinion.

I partially agree that rich people have more financial resources, so they can help people who are struggling. This is because they have enough money to donate to charities, support poor families, or fund important social projects. For example, wealthy people can donate money to build schools and hospitals in poor areas, which can improve the lives of many people living there. Another benefit is that rich people can invest money in the project that benefits the society.

However, on the other side, I also think about the private life of the rich people; being rich does not mean someone will help others. This is because some wealthy people are more interested in increasing their own wealth and maintaining their lifestyle than in helping society. For example, millionaires spend a lot of money to buy luxury cars and expensive holidays instead of donating to people in poverty. One thing that I believe is that helping others can create dependency. This is because if a people can continuously receive money or food without any efforts, it can decrease motivation to do work. For example, instead of simply giving money to unemployed people, wealthy individuals could fund vocational training that helps them develop skills and find jobs.

In conclusion, wealthy people can donate money to people who struggle with their lives and invest in nonprofit NGOs that help the society. In my opinion, I think wealthy people can provide the medium to learn the skill instead of giving money directly to unemployed people. This is the best way to approach wealthy people to donate.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.0
Coherence and Cohesion6.5
Lexical Resource5.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.5
Overall6.0

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the role of wealth in helping others. You clearly state a position, though the introduction is slightly generic, mentioning 'benefits and drawbacks' rather than focusing specifically on the prompt's premise about the importance of helping others. The ideas are relevant, particularly the distinction between direct charity and vocational support. However, the development is somewhat uneven; the second paragraph introduces a counter-argument about the private lives of the rich, which is less relevant to the core question of whether helping others is the 'most important' aspect of wealth. To improve, ensure every paragraph directly supports your stance on the importance of altruism.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a central theme. You use cohesive devices such as 'However,' 'For example,' and 'In conclusion' to guide the reader. While the flow is generally good, some transitions feel slightly mechanical. For instance, the phrase 'on the other side' is a bit informal for an academic essay. Additionally, the referencing in the third paragraph—specifically the transition from discussing the private lives of the rich to the concept of dependency—could be smoother to ensure a more cohesive argument. Overall, the paragraphing is appropriate and supports the progression of ideas.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'financial resources,' 'nonprofit NGOs,' and 'vocational training' correctly. There are some minor inaccuracies, such as 'the project that benefits the society' (should be 'projects that benefit society') and 'struggle with their lives' (a slightly unnatural collocation). While you attempt to use more sophisticated language, the range is somewhat limited, and you rely on some repetitive phrasing. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise collocations and a wider variety of academic synonyms to express your ideas with greater nuance.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is generally effective. However, there are several grammatical slips that occur throughout the text, such as 'if a people can' (should be 'if people can') and 'help the society' (should be 'help society'). While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. You show control over basic structures, but your use of complex sentences is occasionally marred by minor errors in articles or pluralization. Increasing your focus on proofreading for these small, recurring grammatical slips would significantly improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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