Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In the modern world, many people debated that central factor for being rich is to gained the opportunity to help other individuals. Helping other make the society more peaceful and wonderful place for living and everyone has supportive hand it provide opportunities for personal growth. I firmly agree with this statement

Firstly, Helping others provides the mental peace and develops the positive attitude towards others. People who help other individuals gets eruption of dopamine hormone which has beneficial impact on mental health and those person become more optimist to find different windows to become successful and rich. For Instance, many Billionaire said that charity or lending hand to someone is the key of success, as you help other nature pay you back. Moreover, it enhances the leadership qualities in a person that not only necessary for the personal growth but also plays significant role in give hand to someone.

In addition to this, it provides the sense of entrepreneurship and that person open startup with this habits are likely to make strong tie in market and community. People always prefer to go such places where they found a person who can helped them at the time of their need. The sense of helping others helps to establish a peaceful society where everyone lending hands to someone make everyone's life wonderful and exciting.

To wrap it up, it is the major factor to become rich and successful in the life to help others in their time of need. This quality should be adopted by every responsible citizen for their personal growth and for the sake of the welfare of humankind.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by expressing a clear position in favor of the idea that helping others is a key aspect of being rich. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention mental health benefits and leadership qualities, the link between these concepts and the specific notion of 'being rich' is not fully explored or logically connected. The argument relies on generalizations rather than deep analysis. To reach a higher band, ensure that each supporting point directly reinforces the central thesis regarding the relationship between wealth and altruism, providing more concrete examples or logical explanations for how these traits lead to financial success.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Moreover', and 'In addition to this' to link your points. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical, and the flow between sentences is occasionally hindered by grammatical errors. Referencing is generally clear, but the transition between the concept of 'mental peace' and 'becoming rich' is abrupt. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that the logical flow between sentences is smoother will help elevate your score in this criterion.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You have an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, including terms like 'entrepreneurship', 'leadership qualities', and 'dopamine'. However, there are frequent errors in word formation and collocation, such as 'many people debated' (should be 'debate'), 'to gained' (should be 'to gain'), and 'those person' (should be 'those people'). These errors occasionally distract the reader. To improve, focus on learning word families and common collocations. Using more precise vocabulary to describe the relationship between wealth and social contribution would also demonstrate a stronger command of the language.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('many Billionaire said' instead of 'many billionaires say'), incorrect verb forms ('who can helped them' instead of 'who can help them'), and missing articles. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are persistent and occur in almost every sentence. To improve, you should focus on basic sentence construction, specifically checking for subject-verb agreement and consistent verb tense usage. Reducing these frequent errors is essential for moving into the higher bands.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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