Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

while , there is ongoing debate about wealthy people who are most crucial part of society to help other poor citizens whilst, i unequivocally agree with this statement because if they assist local people so all communities develop easily which help to enhance their quality of life another significant factor is that create job opportunities ,support important causes.

one of the primary reason is that rich people can provide support to needy people who can not buy their basic need .to explain it, individuals who do not have money for such thing like, food , education , treatment for illness and other basic necessities which can affect in their development of personality however, wealthy person provide this facilities and give some fees for study and medication so society would be increased and they can became better part of society. for example, in covid 19 big businesses and celebrity came support for needy people which play significant role to improve societies.

second point of my strong agreement is that , rich people can start various firm and create job opportunities for unemployed educators .to elaborate it, there are large amount of younger become jobless so they could not fulfill their family demand and their own need but businessman can provide job for these individuals and helping them earn stable income to support their families. for intense , Ratan Tata who offers job opportunity to younger and support poor families. thus, can be big solution to overcome this problem.

in conclusion, although rich people can provide support for poor basic need but, it must necessary thing to create job as well for younger which can play major part to boost their daily life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. The ideas are relevant, focusing on financial support for basic needs and job creation. However, the development is somewhat limited; the arguments are repetitive and lack depth. For instance, the example of Ratan Tata is a good start but is not fully explained in terms of its broader impact. The conclusion is slightly confusing as it introduces a new condition rather than summarising the main points. To reach a higher band, ensure that each paragraph provides a more detailed explanation and a clearer link back to the main argument.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which is a positive feature. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. Phrases like 'to explain it' and 'to elaborate it' are used repetitively, and some transitions are awkward, such as 'for intense' (intended as 'for instance'). The flow between sentences is sometimes disrupted by grammatical errors, making the progression of ideas feel a bit disjointed. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring they are used naturally would significantly enhance the coherence of the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. There is a reliance on basic terms like 'rich people', 'needy people', and 'good'. Some word choices are incorrect or unnatural, such as 'society would be increased' and 'for intense'. There are also issues with word forms, such as 'wealthy person provide this facilities'. To improve, you should aim to use more sophisticated vocabulary and ensure correct collocations. Expanding your range of synonyms and practicing word forms will help you move towards a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'wealthy person provide'), article usage (e.g., 'in covid 19'), and punctuation errors, particularly with comma placement. Some sentences are difficult to follow due to these errors, such as 'while , there is ongoing debate...'. While the meaning is generally clear, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar and sentence construction prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on proofreading for basic errors would be highly beneficial.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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