Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

There is an on going debate between the most relevant thing of being rich is helping other people. This essay will discuss my point of view regarding the topic.

Nowadays, people really strive hard to have the best life they can in the future. Most of them work hard and invest more money, to secure its career for the next few years. It is believed that what we planted todays is what we are going to harvest tomorrow. And that the reason why people do more today. The success of a particular person cant be measured on the things they have ,but on the willingness to share the blessing to other people who needs the most.

However, it is not a responsibility that must be shouldered all alone by a particular person, rather with the help of people who are willing to commence and give love to those who are less fortunate is a sense of accomplishment to others. Specially those people who have that much on their pockets and helping is a source of happiness for them.

In conclusion, as we are blessed and fortunate to have the things that others might don't have, sharing is a big way to give back to the lord the things that he had given. And it is not a compulsory to share to other people, but giving is also caring and has a good impact to a person in terms of emotional wellbeing which boost the self steam.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt but fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, which negatively impacts the score. While you present a clear position, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. For instance, you mention that helping others provides a 'sense of accomplishment' and 'happiness,' but these points are not fully extended or supported with concrete examples or deeper analysis. The essay lacks a balanced exploration of the 'extent' of your agreement, as the arguments remain quite general. To improve, ensure you expand on your main points with specific illustrations and ensure the essay meets the minimum length requirement to allow for full development of your ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical progression is sometimes hindered by awkward phrasing and limited use of cohesive devices. While you use transition words like 'However' and 'In conclusion,' the connections between sentences within paragraphs are occasionally weak. For example, the transition from discussing personal investment to the moral obligation of sharing is abrupt. The referencing is sometimes unclear, such as in the sentence '...is a sense of accomplishment to others,' where the subject of the sentence is ambiguous. Improving the variety and precision of your linking words will help the flow of your arguments.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for a higher band. There are several instances of imprecise word choice, such as 'the most relevant thing of being rich' instead of 'the most significant aspect of wealth,' and 'self steam' instead of 'self-esteem.' You rely on basic vocabulary, and some phrases are slightly unnatural, such as 'have that much on their pockets.' To improve, focus on learning collocations and more sophisticated vocabulary related to social responsibility and wealth, and be careful with spelling and word formation.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'what we planted todays is what we are going to harvest tomorrow' (tense inconsistency), 'the things that others might don't have' (incorrect auxiliary usage), and 'it is not a compulsory to share' (incorrect word class). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with spacing around commas and periods. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and proofreading for basic grammatical slips to ensure your sentences are error-free.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.