Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some people argue that the most substantial thing about being wealthy is the opportunity to help others through financial assistance. Although it is one of the privileges of being rich, I disagree that helping others is the most vital thing about being wealthy.

On the one hand, affluent people have many advantages with regard to education, medication and other access. For example, People from well-off families have the ability to study in famous and well-known schools and universities without thinking the tuition fees. Educations is accessible to them as well as there are more opportunities for better curriculums and teachers. Moreover, in case wealthy people will be ill, they have access to prestigious and top-tier hospitals and renowned and skillful doctors. The use of health care is easier and more convenient for them.

In addition, high-net-worth individuals are not apprehensive about job security. For instance, if in case they will loose their job, they do not need to panic and find another one as they have earned money beforehand. It is not a big problem for them. They have considerable money earned in their respective bank accounts. Furthermore, rich individuals have connections with well-known companies and firms which will assist them with job-related dilemma. They do not need to think of bills such as house rent as are part of household owned accommodations.

In conclusion, although being wealthy has the opportunity to help people living in poverty, it is not the only thing they could do; there are a great deal of things they can offer.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position that helping others is not the most vital aspect of being wealthy, focusing instead on personal advantages such as education, healthcare, and job security. The writer outlines relevant ideas, fulfilling the main requirements of the task. However, the development of ideas tends to be slightly repetitive and lacks deeper analysis, particularly in the conclusion which abruptly shifts argument focus without a fully synthesised restatement of main points. The position is maintained throughout, but a higher band would require more thoroughly extended and supported arguments rather than listing separate personal benefits.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction and logical division of body paragraphs focusing on distinct themes like healthcare, education, and financial security. Cohesive devices are used adequately to connect sentences and paragraphs, such as 'On the one hand' and 'In addition'. However, referencing and transitions are at times slightly mechanical or repetitive, and the concluding paragraph is very brief and fails to effectively summarise the main arguments presented in the body paragraphs. Overall organisation is clear, but paragraphing and cohesion require greater flexibility for a higher band.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common collocations such as 'high-net-worth individuals', 'financial assistance', and 'top-tier hospitals'. There are, however, instances of imprecise word choice and awkward phrasing, such as 'without thinking the tuition fees' instead of 'without worrying about tuition fees', 'Educations is accessible', and 'loose their job' instead of 'lose their job'. While these errors do not impede communication, they reflect a Band 6 level where vocabulary is functional and shows attempts at sophistication, but contains noticeable inaccuracies.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay employs a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some control over structure through conditional and concessive clauses, such as 'Although it is one of the privileges... I disagree...' and 'if in case they will loose their job'. Nevertheless, grammatical inaccuracies are present throughout the text, including tense issues ('in case wealthy people will be ill'), prepositions ('access to prestigious hospitals' used correctly, but awkwardness in 'other access'), and spelling errors ('loose' instead of 'lose'). These errors do not impede overall comprehension, placing the response firmly at Band 6.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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