Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is often argued that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. I partially agree with this statement, but I believe that it brings other opportunities such as build strong relationship and provide security. However, rich people bring certain drawbacks.

To begin with, there are several explanations why people say that rich is one of the most opportunity to help others. Initially, when people being rich they can helps their extremely poor relatives. For instance, in Bangladesh, many wealthy people helps extreme poor children by giving books, school bags, and clothes. As a result, low income family obtain happiness when they find help from wealthy people. Additionally, when people face different kind of climate situation such as floods, storms, and droughts then some rich people forward to help others through giving food, water, and clothes.

Despite help others, wealthy people also contributes a wide range of socially or economically. To elaborate, wealthy people donate money for road construction and provide facilities for social individuals. For example, when young people organize sports or outdoor activities, rich people sponsor money and they also stay appearance. Furthermore, when people being rich they can build strong relationship with their family or relatives. Moreover, being wealthy it helps enhance their security and sometimes they do not feel under a pressure for money problems.

However, sometimes wealthy people engage corruption, bribery, nepotism, and abuse of power, which can detrimental effects on our society.

In conclusion, although wealthy people has the biggest opportunity to help others, I believe they can helps people in a different ways, however, some rich people truly negative impacts on our society because they abuse of power.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing whether helping others is the most important aspect of being rich, presenting a partial agreement and introducing other benefits like security and relationship building. However, some ideas are underdeveloped and lack depth. For instance, the mention of drawbacks such as corruption is introduced abruptly in a single short paragraph without sufficient elaboration or integration into the main argument. The position is generally clear throughout, but the development of supporting arguments tends to rely on simple generalisations. According to the Band 6 descriptors, the writer addresses all parts of the task, though some aspects are more fully realized than others, and relevant ideas are sometimes under-developed or unclear. To improve, the student should expand upon supporting examples and ensure that counterarguments or drawbacks are fully explained and tied back to the main thesis statement.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay displays a generally coherent overall arrangement with a clear attempt at paragraphing, moving from an introduction to body paragraphs addressing different aspects of wealth, and concluding with a summary. However, cohesion is frequently faulty and mechanical. The writer relies heavily on basic transitional markers such as 'To begin with', 'Additionally', 'Furthermore', and 'However', some of which are used inaccurately, such as 'Despite help others'. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the logical progression between sentences occasionally falters due to grammatical slips. Paragraphing is present, but internal cohesion within paragraphs needs better control to guide the reader smoothly. These features align closely with the Band 5 to Band 6 descriptors; while there is an organizational structure, cohesive devices are sometimes inadequate, inaccurate, or repetitive.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The student demonstrates an adequate vocabulary range for the task, successfully communicating central ideas related to wealth, charity, and societal impacts, using terms such as 'relatives', 'construction', 'facilities', and 'corruption'. However, there are numerous word choice and collocation errors throughout the text, such as 'rich is one of the most opportunity' instead of 'opportunity', 'helps extreme poor children' instead of 'extremely poor', and 'sponsor money' instead of 'fund' or 'sponsor'. Furthermore, grammatical forms of words are often misused, such as 'when people being rich' instead of 'when people are rich' or 'when people become rich'. Spelling is generally acceptable, but lexical inaccuracies restrict the score to Band 5.0, as noticeable errors occasionally cause some difficulty for the reader and prevent the use of a wider, more precise range of vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay features a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating an attempt to use subordinate clauses and conditional structures. However, grammatical accuracy is weak, with frequent errors in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and preposition usage. Examples include 'many wealthy people helps' instead of 'help', 'when people face different kind of climate situation' instead of 'kinds of climate situations', and 'rich people truly negative impacts' missing a verb entirely. Complex structures attempted by the student are frequently faulty, leading to sentences that require re-reading. While communication is not entirely impeded, the high frequency of basic and complex grammatical errors places this performance firmly at Band 5.0, where frequent errors in grammar cause difficulty for the reader.

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