Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

A number of people belive the most cucial thing about being an afflent person is the capability to help the distressed. In my opinion while helping the society with money is a good deed, it often is priortized as secondary after personal well-being and family.

Some people believe that the primary goal of an affleunt person should be to nourish its community as it contributed to make them rich. Success is not an overnight concept, a person overcomes a lot of obstacles during their journey and its surrounding plays an important role by often providing them moral or financial support, helping them emotionally during adverse conditions. Due to this they owe a debt to the society and this should prompt them to extensively participate and contribute in charities that boost the community. In some states authorities hold auctions and charity events for needy in which influnencial participation is must.

Eventhough some people would agree with the former idea, however this responsibility is sequenced secondary after their family and personal health. The prime responsibility of an individual is to care for its family members and it is the main reason that drives people to seek a lucrative career that could provide them luxury and comfort. In adiition to this health is considered eually as money, stable health conditions would make them disease free so they could work more years without being medicated. Hence the primary focus of any individual is their lives even if its a rich personality. For instance, actors and actrsesses worldwide has begun taking pillates, gym, dietary guide that would make them physically fit enjoying their lives for long.

In conclusion, I believe helping others and offering aid to your society is a good deed but it cannot be the main goal of many, there are things they priortize much more in their lives such as providing for their families and looking after their own health.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by presenting a clear position on whether helping others is the most important aspect of being rich. The student acknowledges the viewpoint that wealthy individuals owe a debt to society, but argues that personal well-being and family responsibilities take precedence. The ideas are relevant and generally well-developed, with supporting arguments provided in both body paragraphs. For example, the student explains how community support during the journey to success prompts charitable giving, and conversely, why individuals must prioritize family and health. While some of the supporting details tend towards generalisation, such as the example of actors and actresses, the overall position remains clear and consistent throughout the essay. This performance aligns well with the requirements for a Band 6.5 to 7.0, and a score of 6.5 is awarded.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction and conclusion. Ideas are logically sequenced, moving from the perspective of community obligation in the second paragraph to the counter-argument regarding family and health in the third paragraph. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or faulty. For instance, the transition 'Eventhough some people would agree with the former idea, however this responsibility...' contains redundant conjunctions, and referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the ambiguous pronoun use in 'care for its family members'. Despite these minor cohesion issues, the logical progression is maintained throughout, justifying a band score of 6.5.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The student demonstrates an adequate lexical range for the task, successfully attempting less common vocabulary items such as 'affluent', 'distressed', 'lucrative', and 'adverse conditions'. However, there are noticeable spelling and word choice errors throughout the text, including 'belive' instead of believe, 'cucial' for crucial, 'afflent' and 'affleunt' for affluent, 'priortized' for prioritized, 'influnencial' for influential, 'adiition' for addition, 'equally' for equal, and 'actrsesses' for actresses. While these errors do not impede overall communication, their frequency prevents the score from reaching the Band 7 threshold. Therefore, a band score of 6.0 is appropriate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The writer employs a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating attempts at subordination and relative clauses, such as 'Success is not an overnight concept, a person overcomes a lot of obstacles during their journey and its surrounding plays an important role...' However, this specific example also illustrates a run-on sentence structure. There are several grammatical errors and punctuation issues, including missing commas, subject-verb agreement slips ('its surrounding plays'), and awkward phrasing ('even if its a rich personality'). Although these errors occur with some frequency, the majority of simple sentences are accurate and meaning is rarely obscured, supporting a band score of 6.0.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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