Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The idea of becoming rich and wealthy, in order to fulfil the needs of the disadvantaged group has increasingly become the topic of discussion in recent years. Many people think that becoming an affluent can help in solving many economic issues such as poverty and unemployment. I agree completely on the view that while becoming richer and sitting with influential and powerful people can bring substantial benefits in terms of economic growth and foster financial stability in the society. This essay will discuss the opprtunities that are unlocked when a person becomes rich, and shed light why I completely agree with this perspactive while highlighting reasoned justifications.

On the one hand, one of the compelling reasons for becooming rich is that it opensthousand doors to certain opportunities. A person belonging to an affluent category can help under-privileged community in terms of providing routes for acquiring better education, or in health care and many other sectors. As wealth is not equally distributed among individuals, a person advantaged with resources can help individuals to elevate the line of poverty by providing monthly aid in the form of money or pay the bills of hospitals for the ones who are unable to pay the expenditure of b. For instance, a lot of wealthy individuals can start a charitable organization to charity and help people lack in resources.It can also be done by providing a path-way to attain vocational trainings or an access to quality education or free education, so a person can learn the skill or educate himself for getting better jobs and opportunities.that . This will certainlyresult in the genuine fulfilment of materialistic needs of the needy and disadvantaged group.

Another prominent reason for becoming rich is that a society in a modern era is more inclined to individuals with biggest financial backgrounds. Such highly- rich people are mostly called in big events and celebrations to express their views. When these individuals raise voice in favour or against any issue, there are very less chances of their voice being unheard. This can led to share the problems and sufferings of a low-income group on these events, resulting in producing positive impacts and bringing improvements in the lives of these people.

Although, there are certain significant benefits of this trend, there are certain drawbacks associated with this, which cannot be overlooked. For instance, a richer person may presurrized by the community to grant grater proportion of their income to the underpriviledged group. These people are then bound to expand their spendings on poor people without their content. This certainly results in putting negative impacts on their minds, resisting them to provide financial support to the needy people.

Although I believe taht becoming a richer personality comes with greater challenges and sifficulties, I believe that it is the only resourceful and person fulfils the demands of needy ones

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear position throughout. The writer explores the central premise of whether being rich offers the primary benefit of helping others, providing extensions of ideas such as philanthropic funding, educational opportunities, and social influence. However, some ideas are slightly under-developed or repetitive, and there are mechanical tangents (such as sentence fragments like "for the ones who are unable to pay the expenditure of b" and "that"). The position is nonetheless sustained throughout the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. These characteristics align closely with a Band 6.5 descriptor, but since scores must be in whole or half-band increments, a Band 6.0 is awarded for limited development in places.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into distinct paragraphs, attempting a traditional introduction, body paragraphs addressing different angles, a counterargument paragraph, and a conclusion. There is a clear overall progression. However, cohesion is frequently faulty or mechanical. For instance, transitional phrases like "On the one hand" are used without a corresponding "On the other hand," and referencing is occasionally unclear (e.g., dangling phrases like "that . This will certainly result" and abrupt sentence breaks). Paragraphing is attempted, but internal cohesion within sentences suffers from numerous structural disruptions. These issues fit the Band 6 descriptor well.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The student attempts a range of vocabulary appropriate for the academic topic, utilizing terms such as "disadvantaged group," "economic growth," "financial stability," and "charitable organization." However, there are frequent word-choice errors, awkward collocations, and spelling mistakes (e.g., "affluent" used as a noun meaning "an affluent," "becooming," "opensthousand," "presurrized," "grater," "content" instead of "consent," "sifficulties"). While communication is not heavily impeded, the accumulation of lexical inaccuracies prevents the score from reaching Band 7.0, making Band 6.0 a fitting representation.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some command over multi-clause structures (e.g., "As wealth is not equally distributed among individuals, a person advantaged with resources can help..."). However, there are frequent grammatical errors and punctuation issues, including subject-verb agreement slips ("people lack in resources", "This can led to share"), missing prepositions, and structural breakdowns mid-sentence (e.g., "that . This will certainly result..." and the incomplete final sentence: "I believe that it is the only resourceful and person fulfils the demands of needy ones"). These errors sometimes cause minor difficulty for the reader, matching the Band 5.5 to 6.0 range.

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