Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some people believe that the most important benefit of being rich is having the opportunity to help other people. I largely agree with this view because wealthy people can support those in need and contribute to society. However, I also believe that financial security and personal freedom are important benefits of having wealth.

First of all, wealthy people are in a better position to support others who are struggling financially. They can donate money to charities, support poor families, help poor student to get good education, support orphans. For example, a rich person cn pay a school fee of several disadvantaged children, give them better chance to achieve successful career, wealth can be use not only for personal use but also to give someone a better life.

However, helping others is not the only important advantage of being rich. Having enough money can provide a person with financial security and freedom. Wealthy people can easily afford good housing, healthcare and education without worrying about their daily expenses. They may also have freedom to chose best education institution for themselves and are able to travel to different countries. Therfore, personal freedom should also consider when talking about the importance of wealth.

In the conclusion, I agree to the large extent that one of the most valuebale about beeing rich is that you are able to help others. Nevertheless wealth also provide financial security, personal freedom and access to better opportunities, which are important for individuals themselves.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the idea that helping others is a major benefit of wealth and acknowledging counter-arguments regarding personal freedom and financial security. The position is clear throughout the essay. However, the development of ideas in the body paragraphs tends to rely on lists rather than deep extension, such as 'donate money to charities, support poor families, help poor student to get good education, support orphans'. Furthermore, the length requirement has not been met, as the response contains 245 words, falling short of the 250-word minimum. This minor negative constraint penalty prevents the task achievement score from reaching a higher band, placing it firmly at a band 6.0 based on the partial development and under-length status.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear logical progression from the introduction through the body paragraphs to the conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct sub-topic (helping others versus financial security). Cohesive devices are employed, such as 'First of all', 'However', and 'In the conclusion'. However, referencing and cohesion are sometimes faulty or mechanical, and there are occasional awkward transitions. For instance, the use of 'Therfore' and the choppy structure in sentences detract slightly from seamless flow. Overall, the organizational structure meets the criteria for a band 6.0, showing a logical framework despite some mechanical cohesive links.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully using terms such as 'financial security', 'disadvantaged children', and 'personal freedom'. However, there are noticeable lexical and typographical errors throughout the text, including spelling mistakes like 'beeing' and 'Therfore', grammatical collocation errors such as 'help poor student to get' (missing plural and article), and 'cn' instead of 'can'. The writer attempts some less common vocabulary with varying degrees of accuracy. Because these errors do not impede overall communication but occur regularly, the lexical resource is best evaluated at a band 6.0 level.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay features a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some control over structure through clauses introduced by 'because', 'although', and relative pronouns. However, there are frequent grammatical inaccuracies and omissions, such as 'help poor student to get good education' (missing articles and pluralization), 'pay a school fee' (unnatural article usage), 'wealth can be use' (passive voice error), and 'personal freedom should also consider' (missing passive form). Punctuation and capitalization are generally clear, but sentence boundary issues and missing words cause occasional strain for the reader. These persistent errors place the grammar firmly in the band 5.5 to 6.0 range, warranting a 6.0.

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