Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 4.0)

Many individuals believe that being a rich this a big advantages to solves the problems of other people. In my opinion, I am totally agree to solves the problems by the money that is a very good thing.

Firstly, the major advantages to become a rich men to help the poor people in different ways. For example, whose people do not people can not afford childrens educational expense and their children can not go to the school. by the money we help this type of people and afford their all expenses and help the poor children to the educational field.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response4.0
Coherence and Cohesion4.0
Lexical Resource4.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy3.5
Overall4.0

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response is severely under-length, containing only 100 words compared to the required minimum of 250 words. Because of this, the task is only partially addressed, and the ideas cannot be fully developed. The writer attempts to take a position by stating, 'I am totally agree to solves the problems by the money', but the arguments are extremely limited and repetitive. The example regarding children's educational expenses is relevant to the topic of helping others through wealth, but it remains undeveloped and lacks elaboration. To achieve a higher band score, the writer must ensure they meet the minimum word count and provide multiple well-developed paragraphs with distinct supporting ideas and examples.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The text shows some basic structural organisation, with an introductory statement and a body paragraph initiated by the sequencing marker 'Firstly'. However, the overall progression is hindered by the extreme brevity of the text and the lack of proper paragraphing. Cohesive devices are either misused or absent, and referencing is frequently unclear, such as in the phrase 'by the money we help this type of people'. Paragraphing is inadequate, as the response consists of only two very short blocks of text. To improve coherence and cohesion, the writer needs to group ideas into logical paragraphs, use a wider range of cohesive devices naturally, and ensure a clear progression of thought from the introduction through the body paragraphs to a conclusion.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The lexical resource is very basic and repetitive, frequently relying on simple vocabulary such as 'rich', 'people', 'help', 'money', and 'children'. There are noticeable word choice and collocation errors throughout the text, including 'being a rich this a big advantages' and 'to become a rich men'. Spelling and morphological inaccuracies are also present, such as 'advantages' instead of 'advantage' and 'educational expense' instead of 'educational expenses'. The vocabulary is minimally adequate to convey a very basic meaning, but it lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. The writer must expand their vocabulary range and practice correct word forms and collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 3.5

The grammatical range is extremely limited, consisting mostly of simple and attempted complex sentences that are heavily flawed. There are frequent and severe grammatical errors throughout the short text, such as 'I am totally agree to solves', which contains both an incorrect verb form after the infinitive and a misuse of the adjective/verb structure 'to agree'. Other notable errors include 'whose people do not people can not afford', which severely distorts the sentence structure, and missing articles and incorrect prepositions. These frequent errors cause significant difficulty for the reader and impede comprehension. To improve, the writer needs to focus on basic sentence construction, subject-verb agreement, and accurate use of verb forms.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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