Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-18
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Student answer (Band 4.5)
In todays life,having enought money is the most imortant thing to live easely.many people beleive that being rich is the solution and for any problem specially helping other from familly or any other people that they should know.i extremly with this view,in this essay will discute why i difently agrue befor giving conclusion.
Firstly,being rich is the famous thing that every humans dream today,or extract this hope from rich people,they do whatever they want like buying cars or expensive clothes,for instance cristano ronaldo the legend of football,we saw his life at social media and no one can disagree that he dosent like to be like him,as a result every famous human specially rich must the view that every people want to be.
In addition,rich it dosent mean to just have a money and spending them on your own self,it can present the humanity betwen peopls by helping each others specially the ones who deserve help,for exemple lot of rich people donates in diffrent countries because of their power and buying food and clothes to give them to poor famillies,in addition we saw a famous fotball players donates theire own countries like riadh mahrez he did his best to helo our country to build hospitals houses and places for peopls who needs help.consequantly,helping each other should be easy when having the power of money and opportunity.
In conclusion can man say, that every peopl and his own desicions for how to help.in my opinion being rich definitlly the important thing to help other with any part of their lifes.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response attempts to address the prompt regarding whether the most important thing about being rich is the opportunity to help others. The writer takes a clear position, stating 'i extremly with this view', but the development of ideas is limited and somewhat confused by lexical errors. While the writer touches on helping family and society—citing examples like Cristiano Ronaldo and Riyad Mahrez—the connection between fame, wealth, and the specific prompt aspect of helping others is often underdeveloped or overly generalised. The response fulfills the basic requirements of addressing the topic, but due to the lack of deeper elaboration and clarity in positioning, it fits comfortably into Band 5.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay displays some basic organisational structure, utilizing four paragraphs (introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion). However, overall progression is hindered by poor punctuation, lack of spaces after commas and periods (e.g., 'In todays life,having enought money'), and weak cohesive devices. Paragraphing is attempted, but internal cohesion is frequently faulty or mechanical, such as the repetitive use of 'in addition' and 'for instance' without proper syntactic integration. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the transition between ideas can feel abrupt, which aligns with the characteristics of a Band 4.5 or 5.0.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.0
Lexical range is limited and constrained by numerous spelling and word-choice errors. Examples of basic misspellings and incorrect forms include 'todays' instead of 'today's', 'enought' instead of 'enough', 'imortant' instead of 'important', 'easely', 'beleive', 'extremly', 'difently', 'agrue', and 'definitlly'. There are also awkward collocations and grammatical word-form errors, such as 'rich it dosent mean to just have a money'. While the vocabulary is minimally adequate to convey a basic message, the high frequency of spelling mistakes and lexical limitations heavily impact readability, restricting the score to a Band 4.0.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The student attempts some complex sentence structures, but these are frequently faulty and accompanied by pervasive basic errors. There are significant issues with punctuation, sentence boundaries, subject-verb agreement, and articles (e.g., 'every humans dream', 'cristano ronaldo the legend of football,we saw his life at social media', 'dosent like to be like him'). Sentences frequently run together as comma splices or lack necessary auxiliary elements. Error-free sentences are very rare, and the high density of grammatical and mechanical inaccuracies causes persistent difficulty for the reader, placing the grammar performance firmly at Band 4.0.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.