Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-18
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Student answer (Band 4.5)
In today's rapidly evolving world, people are help to other is significant lession for everyone. Moreover, individual tell that the crucial opinion about being wealthy is that one has chance to help other. I fully agree with this statement. This essay will articulate my own perspective along with this statement.
To commence with bright side of that rice people are help to poor people. To be more precise, wealthy people have enough money so, they help to other to improve poor people life quality. For example, in my city, there are many poor family live in road side. they have not home, they live in road side or no source of earn money. Therefore wealthy family help to these type of family age give job to they earn money. As a result, poor people do not live in road side. They buy home for rent, and after that thay spent time in rental home. They have enough money earnig source so, they do not warry about their life.
Moreover, there are some other advantages or circumstance as, wealthy people are help to other. To be more elaborate further on the point, rice people are invest money on improvement on government facility. Looking at, government have not enough money to envest in medical line, education or many more. However, rice people must invest money on government to improve medical fild,as well as research fild that enhance good quality of facility. Consequently, it is benifits for our environment, and improve people life though.
In conclusion, rice people are alway help to other becouse it's improve other peope life. there are some benifits that people help to other such as,improve country economy, as well as, improve environment condition.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses the prompt by discussing whether the most important aspect of being rich is the opportunity to help others, and the writer clearly states a position ("I fully agree with this statement"). Ideas are presented, such as helping poor families find jobs and investing in government facilities like healthcare and education. However, the development of these ideas is limited and repetitively expressed. The supporting arguments lack depth and rely on over-generalised points. While the task is addressed, the overall development is thin, placing the response firmly at Band 5.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5
The essay is divided into paragraphs, including an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the logical progression is frequently disrupted by awkward referencing and mechanical cohesive devices. Phrases like "To commence with bright side of that rice people are help to poor people" and "Moreover, there are some other advantages or circumstance as" feel unnatural and impede smooth reading. Furthermore, pronoun referencing is often unclear (e.g., "give job to they earn money"). Paragraphing is attempted, but the internal cohesion within paragraphs is faulty, justifying a Band 4.5 or 5.0 score.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.5
The vocabulary range is basic and heavily repetitive. Words such as "rich" are repeatedly misspelled as "rice" throughout the essay, and "help" is used incorrectly in grammatical contexts (e.g., "people are help to other"). Other lexical choices such as "medical line" and "fild" instead of "field" demonstrate a very limited range and frequent spelling and word-formation errors. Although the reader can generally grasp the intended meaning, the persistent lexical and spelling inaccuracies place this criterion at Band 4.5.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The grammatical structures used are very limited, and attempts at complex sentences almost uniformly result in serious errors. Examples include "people are help to other is significant lession for everyone" and "wealthy people have enough money so, they help to other to improve poor people life quality." There are frequent errors in verb tense, voice, and subject-verb agreement, which cause substantial difficulty for the reader and obscure meaning in several places. This warrants a Band 4.0.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.