Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

It has been oberved that being richer person have many opportunities to do various activities. Although some people believe that one opportunity to being rich is we can help others. I firmly agree with the given statement. My inclination is elaborated in ensuring paragraphs and relevant examples.

The foremost argument to justfy my stand is that we can reduce poverty in our country. we can gives money to on old age home or nursing home. From this, they can live longer or can buy clothes or other material for themselves. For instance, when i started job and had enough in my account so i decided to give some money to old age home. Many adults bought many things and they were so happy. Beside this, it is also true that, we can adopt a children and provide better education to them. In future, they can also serve for our country. For example, my family friend adopted a children in 2001 and now he is a soldier in army.

Furthermore, the other reason to prove my point is that a richer person can also give better financial adive to a family to get stable. In addition, poor people who pass their entire life on road with their children can also be help by richer person.

From the light of above discussion, it can be said that despite the fact of being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others and my above mention reasons and statements are logically accepted.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the extent to which helping others is the most important aspect of being rich, and a clear position is maintained throughout. The student introduces relevant ideas, such as reducing poverty, supporting nursing homes, and funding education. However, these ideas are underdeveloped and rely heavily on simplistic personal anecdotes rather than fully extended arguments. For instance, the mention of adopting a child and the subsequent career as a soldier lacks broader analysis of wealth and philanthropy. While all parts of the prompt are addressed, the depth of exploration is limited, placing this response firmly in the mid-range of achievement. The ideas are relevant and support the overall stance, but require further elaboration and broader societal context to reach a higher band level.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay displays some organizational structure with clear paragraphing, including an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the logical progression is frequently disrupted by awkward phrasing and mechanical transitions such as 'Beside this' and 'Furthermore, the other reason'. Referencing is sometimes unclear, particularly in the conclusion where phrases like 'despite the fact of being rich is that one has the opportunity' lack logical coherence. Cohesive devices are used, but they are often inaccurate or clumsy, such as 'From the light of above discussion'. Paragraphing is present, but the internal flow of ideas within paragraphs suffers from abrupt shifts between personal examples and general statements, hindering overall readability and logical flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, frequently revolving around simple terms like 'rich', 'money', 'people', and 'help'. There are noticeable lexical errors and inappropriate word choices throughout the text, such as 'oberved' instead of observed, 'richer person have' instead of has, 'justfy' instead of justify, and 'financial adive' instead of advice. Furthermore, the phrase 'pass their entire life on road' is unnatural and reflects a limited control of collocation and idiomatic expression. While the vocabulary is adequate to convey the basic message, the frequent errors and lack of less common lexical items restrict the score to a lower band level.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but control over grammar is weak. There are frequent, noticeable errors in subject-verb agreement ('being richer person have', 'a children'), article usage ('on old age home'), and prepositions ('From the light of above discussion'). Tense consistency is also an issue, with awkward shifts between present and past in personal anecdotes ('when i started job and had enough in my account so i decided'). Complex sentence attempts often contain structural flaws that impede clarity. Punctuation is basic, and capitalization errors ('i') are present. These persistent errors cause some difficulty for the reader and reflect limited grammatical accuracy.

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