Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In the morden era, Some individuals belive that the most crucial thing about being wealthy is that one has the prospect to help other peoples. I totaly agree in this statement because mony is everything so mejor scop to help others.

First of all, helps poor and needy people, wealthy person have strong financial resource so it can helps poor and needy people. they are many types of help such as Education fees, medical treatment, food and basic necessities. For example, somone welthy person is educational help for poor children so It could be much better than before. Secondly, rich person can on big scale charity and social project like a hospitals and schools can built and it can provide scolerships. Furthermore, it can helps Disaster victims. For example, a wealthy businessman may build hospitals and schools in rural areas, which can help the entire community access better healthcare and education supports.

Moreover, Can create employment opportunities using one's own money like rich business men startup busineses and it can provide jobs, which people get a stable income and they are improve standerd of living their families. For example, One successful entrepreneur start up a new factory so as a result, many local community can employment.

In conclusion, this statement is clearly prove, Wealthy person is many types of helps to others such as Educational fees, medical treatment, Food and clothes, basic necessities , Scolerships, employment. so, the point is that wealthy people can help the poor in many ways.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position that being wealthy provides the opportunity to help others. The ideas presented are relevant, such as funding education, healthcare, and disaster relief, fulfilling the basic requirements of Task Achievement. However, the development of these ideas is limited and repetitive, with over-reliance on listing examples like 'Education fees, medical treatment, food and basic necessities' rather than fully extending the arguments. The conclusion merely restates points rather than synthesizing them. Consequently, the response satisfies the criteria for Band 5, as it addresses the task and presents a clear position, but the ideas remain under-developed and limited in depth.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay has a recognizable structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, and basic cohesive devices such as 'First of all', 'Secondly', and 'Moreover' are used to signpost ideas. However, the overall progression is hindered by repetitive phrasing and paragraphing that lacks smooth logical transitions. Referencing is sometimes unclear, for example, using pronouns like 'it' ambiguously without a clear antecedent, as seen in 'wealthy person have strong financial resource so it can helps poor'. Paragraphing is attempted, but internal cohesion is frequently faulty and mechanical. This performance aligns with the Band 5 descriptors, where some organization is present, but there is no clear overall progression and cohesive devices are inadequate or inaccurate.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The vocabulary used is very basic and repetitive, frequently reusing words like 'wealthy', 'help', 'people', and 'poor' throughout the text. There are numerous spelling errors ('morden', 'belive', 'totaly', 'mony', 'mejor', 'scop', 'welthy', 'scolerships', 'standerd') and word-formation errors ('employment' used as a verb or adjective, 'busineses'). The lexical range is limited and minimally adequate for expressing simple ideas, but the noticeable errors and restricted vocabulary prevent the score from reaching a higher band. This corresponds to a Band 4, characterized by basic, repetitive vocabulary and errors that strain the reader.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but control over grammar is weak. There are frequent grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('wealthy person have'), incorrect verb forms ('this statement is clearly prove'), and run-on sentences with comma splices ('One successful entrepreneur start up a new factory so as a result, many local community can employment'). Punctuation is also erratic, with random capitalization and missing commas. Because errors are frequent across both simple and complex sentences and occasionally impede communication, the response fits the Band 4 descriptor where errors are frequent and may distort meaning.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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