Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In this contemporary era, increase in wealthy person's number in various countries. someone argue that that the significant role play as a being reach is that one has the opportunity to help others. I completely agree with this statement, will discuss in upcoming paragraphs with reason and relevant examples.

To commence with, in this world end number of person are wealthy the need to be helping other persons who are poor. They helping to poor peoples with given jobs,education fees,providing food,helping in medical expenses and meny more weys to helping other people. As a result,it is possible for particular country poor person's number decrease.

Moreover,reach people have a own company so they should create job opportunities for the educated person. To extend it, they got job and do work in the company additional they starting to earnings and take over the responsibilities of their own family. The wealthy person should to establish school colleges for the poor families. So that, their children getting good education and make their career. ultimately, in that country education level boost and contribute to government.

Additionally, reach person should helping to establish new hospitals for poor people so they can avail that facilities at thet hospitals with the low cost. Even, wealthy person should contribute to enhance technology because developing countries need to upgrade their technology and facilities for that government need to more mony so reach person has opportunities to sport them.

To conclude, wealthy person has end number of opportunities to helping poor persons who actually need for help, for contributing for develop their own country.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position that the most important aspect of wealth is the opportunity to help others. The writer attempts to support this viewpoint by mentioning job creation, educational support, healthcare, and technological development. However, the ideas remain somewhat limited and under-developed, relying on repetitive arguments about helping poor people without exploring deeper nuances of the philosophical question. For instance, the discussion on job creation lacks concrete elaboration beyond stating that companies should be established. Consequently, the response aligns best with Band 5, as it addresses the task and presents a position, but the development of ideas is restricted and repetitive.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The text demonstrates a basic organizational structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the overall progression is disrupted by frequent mechanical errors in cohesion, awkward referencing, and faulty paragraph links such as 'To extend it' and 'To commence with, in this world end number of person are wealthy the need to be helping other persons'. Paragraphing is attempted, but internal cohesion is weak and repetitive. Pronoun referencing is frequently unclear, and the overuse of formulaic transitional phrases cannot compensate for the lack of smooth logical flow. Therefore, the response fits the Band 4 descriptor well, as information and ideas are not arranged coherently enough to secure a higher band.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The vocabulary range is quite limited and heavily repetitive, with frequent misuses of words, such as 'rich' being spelled or used as 'reach', and phrases like 'end number of person' instead of 'endless number of people' or 'countless individuals'. Other lexical errors include 'meny more weys', 'mony', and 'thet hospitals'. These errors cause noticeable difficulty for the reader and reflect a basic vocabulary that struggles to convey precise meaning. While the writer attempts less common topics like technology and healthcare, the persistent spelling and word-choice errors place this writing firmly in the Band 4 category.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

Grammatical control is weak throughout the essay. The text contains a very limited range of structures, and attempts at complex sentences are almost uniformly faulty, such as 'In this contemporary era, increase in wealthy person's number in various countries' and 'wealthy person should to establish school colleges'. Errors are extremely frequent, involving missing articles, incorrect subject-verb agreement, tense inconsistencies, and severe punctuation slips that frequently distort meaning and hinder communication. There are very few error-free sentences, which corresponds to the Band 4 descriptor where errors are frequent and pervasive.

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