Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

It is commonly believe that being rich is about has one opportunity to help others. I fully agreed with this statement. Now a days we lives a very tough life . We faced a lot of difficulties to lives life here . Some people is very rich who helps the needy people. They has opportinity to help poor and needy people.

The person who becomes rich before lives a vey simple life. He has feelings from the poor and needy people. When he becomes rich he help those people who lives a very poor life. I particulary agreed with this wealthy people can donate money to support poor families , built schools or buldings and help during disasters. However wealth gives better access to educate people and lives a secure life style. Rich people gives donation to ngos for gives better facilities to needy and poor people. However i do not belive that helping others is only necessality most important benefits for being wealth.Wealthy people afford better schools and others things. So that is why he thought that every people lives a good life. They had much enogh support to the poor people.They had made some instituion and ngos to help poors people.

I conculisoly agree help to others is benfits for his wealth.Give donation and help people is very goog thing is Islam. There fore i belive helping others is an important benefits. The person who becomes poor before rich is very cares to others people. They had feelings from others . SO that is why we helps the poor and needy people.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt by expressing a clear position that being rich provides an opportunity to help others. The writer attempts to support this with ideas such as donating money, building schools, and aiding during disasters. However, the development of these ideas is limited and repetitive. For instance, the text frequently circles back to the idea that people who were once poor remember their roots and help others, without deeply exploring other dimensions of wealth or societal impacts. Furthermore, there are contradictions and digressions, such as discussing how wealth provides better access to education for the rich themselves, which slightly clouds the central thesis. Overall, the task is addressed, but the depth and clarity of idea development correspond to Band 5 descriptors.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The essay displays some organization, attempting to group thoughts into paragraphs, but there is a lack of clear overall progression. Paragraph boundaries appear somewhat arbitrary, and sentences within paragraphs often lack logical transitions. For example, cohesive devices are used repetitively or inaccurately, such as the frequent, disjointed use of 'However' and 'So that is why' (e.g., 'So that is why he thought that every people lives a good life'). Referencing is also occasionally unclear, leaving the reader to guess the referent of pronouns like 'They' and 'He'. While the overall arrangement attempts to follow an essay structure, the faulty and mechanical cohesion places this response firmly at Band 4.0.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, with frequent lexical and word-choice errors that strain the reader's comprehension. Examples include phrases like 'commonly believe' instead of 'commonly believed', 'necessality' instead of 'necessity' or 'benefit', and 'conculisoly agree' instead of 'conclusively agree'. The student attempts some less common terms like 'instituion' and 'disasters', but spelling errors ('buldings', 'goog', 'fore') and incorrect collocations ('cares to others people') are pervasive throughout the text. The range is limited and minimally adequate for conveying a rudimentary message, matching Band 4 criteria.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The response exhibits a very limited range of grammatical structures, consisting mostly of simple sentences alongside severely flawed attempts at complex ones. Errors are extremely frequent and often distort meaning, such as 'Now a days we lives a very tough life' and 'The person who becomes rich before lives a vey simple life.' Subject-verb agreement errors are constant (e.g., 'Some people is very rich', 'Rich people gives donation'), and tense usage is erratic. Punctuation and sentence boundaries are also poorly controlled. Due to the high frequency of grammatical errors that impede communication and cause difficulty for the reader, the grammar performance aligns with Band 4.0.

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